I've experienced BDSM two times so far, I've always wanted to try it, to know where my limits are, to break barriers and boundaries, to send myself into a more primal raw connection, to erase the civilized conventions and attain that connection, space, where there is no skin, no outer layers, but simply raw primal emotion.
I somehow believe that submission can actually engender power; realizing that you have something to give, that you are capable of mastering your own will to give it up the way your top wants it instead of the way you think he should want it, can inspire pride, not the false pride of inflated ego, but the true pride that comes from knowing the raw depths of yourself!
My Master is a 40something German doctor whose dominant nature is real deep & visceral; an eye that do more work than both his hands, something that has nothing to do with the good looks, charisma, dressing well, "dominant" personae and all the trappings of BDSM as I think all these things are easy to fashion.
My first time with him was more about the blindfolds, collar, handcuffs, chain, ropes, nipple clippers and all those kinky tools but I didn't enjoy it that much; a chain and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM, I donno..It's not a sexual thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing.
I enjoyed more my second time with him without any tool, I was a "working" bottom who was actively putting the Top's "work" to joyful use, for me it was not into my ear he whispered but into my heart, it was not into my lips he kissed but my soul, He call me slave and I call him master and It wasn't physical in any way.
So I knew that I can never be a slave as I'm more dominant on bed but I also can't be a master...I can't explain it, I guess I'm a dominant bottom, I'm very controlling and power for me is the ultimate aphrodisiac; I'll get on my knees when you get on your elbows! I like men who compel my strength, who make enormous demands on me, who do not doubt my courage or my toughness, who do not believe me naive or innocent, who have the courage to treat me like a whole and not a half who completes a whole!
Meanwhile, does abnormal pleasure kill the taste for normal ones? Am I making any sense?
Well Ice I believe that you are free in your body like your free in your choices but I would ask you to be careful cause in the mid of thinking you are in control you could loose it all and find your self as a salve for your own pleasures than being a slave to a master no matter who he is. Tred carefully friend cause in knowing your own limits you could somehow loose them
ReplyDeleteI also tried it long time ago but very fast I found out that's not mine at all... I'm Libra and I love my freedom more than anything else. Any tool to fix me, like robe or cuffs is my natural enemy...
ReplyDeleteSou: hmmm point taken =)
ReplyDeleteVollmich: Haha I can't imagine a S&M libra! =P
its called POWER BOTTOM,
ReplyDeleteFYI you are mentioned in my new blog entry
Boy, u watch too much Oprah!
ReplyDeleteQ: I know that, I was just trying 2 explain myself =)
ReplyDeleteAnony: Thank u but Oprah is more sophisticated than me =P
"for me it was not into my ear he whispered but into my heart, it was not into my lips he kissed but my soul, He call me slave and I call him master and It wasn't physical in any way"
ReplyDeleteWOW !
1st of all.. this is my first visit here and I'm a straight woman and I really love your blog...
what i quoted I guess it works both ways :)
I love how you described S&M as an attempt to erase civilized conventions...
Loved the post , felt every word of it though I interpreted it in my own way.
ReplyDelete"Meanwhile, does abnormal pleasure kill the taste for normal ones? Am I making any sense? "
There is nothing called abnormal pleasure , we as humans are complex diverse beings with different needs, so there is no one entitled to categorize pleasure as normal or abnormal, as long as you are happy then this is pleasure in your own terms.
Cheers!
BaTaBeeT: Oh it's always cheerful to find a comment by a fresh new reader =)
ReplyDeleteGlad that u like my blog and hope to c u around again!
XY: How u interpreted it? =P
Well u know that I hate labels but S&M for is something unusual/abnormal(and akeed am not judging lol)
From my experience in BDSM it was never about the mental control for me, i have always enjoyed the tools, the extreme acts ...its like a play for me a scene(may be pretending sometimes)...the key for a successful S&M session is detaching...
ReplyDeleteL
Point taken! =)
ReplyDelete