رُب عابد هواه رأى خياله في المرآة وحسبه إياه ، فترك ما عداه ولم يتعداه ، ظناً منه أن ذاته مولاه ، إذ لم ير شيئاً سواه ، وقامت بشبهة شكوكه دعواه ، فأعمته عن عماه ، فقال : أنا الله
ــ الإمام محيي الدين ابن عربي
You sometimes feel like a foreigner who does not belong to the world, to its laws, and its concerns. The rules of life in society are not necessarily yours. You are interested in what is unknown and in the subtle laws of a hidden order. So, you take malicious pleasure in ridiculing the patterns you find too simplistic or too rigid. You also revel in underlining the limits of explanations you deem too common. There is something unconventional about the way you are, the way you think, and the way you act. What is your specificity made of? Is it an extraordinary partner? A life off the beaten path? Or do you only distance yourself from conventional morals? In any case, you have the feeling, sometimes quite vague, that you come from nowhere, that you do not belong to any definite group and that you refuse how full of flaws the world was handed down to you...So why are you starring so deep at me now? Looking for someone you thought you knew? Do you think standing as an observer in that medium between life/reality & death/end changed how you perceive yourself and others?
You do have an intuitive understanding of the people in your world. You get what makes them tick. You are able to easily identify their weaknesses and their strengths, and to tailor your advice to fit their unique personalities. But on the other hand that made you craving more power and since you can control so much in your environment, you have a hard time understanding why others can't. So when people fail you, you assume malevolent purposes awakening feelings of anger and helplessness in even the simpler of situations like what I show to you in my rear view while your instinctive hands are mastering the driving wheel with a smirk on your face!
You have become this liberal, multicultural, multilingual and polysexual entity. You cannot be simplified in order to conform to existing models, you remain clear-sighted and sceptical about human constructions such as associations, couples, encounters, and exchanges. You understand the illusory nature of social codes. But also you're still a loner, and even with family members and friends, you instinctively keeps your distance and unfortunately making it exhausting for yourself and others to relate, to the extent that they doubt whether you really wrote all of that for example!
Destruction & reinvention, among other things, allow you to reconstruct and to regenerate parts of your personality or whole stretches of your life, provided that you manage to funnel/vessel its wild energy and to step back. It is impossible to tame this energy, given its essence. However, it is possible to take advantage of it for a precise aim, through a temporary identification of some parts of you with this energy. In such a case, the outcome is your final evolution and even, your transformation.
So isn't it about time you cut off needless socialising and dysfunctional relationships that has been going on in the same pattern for years now? As you couldn't still overcome one of the major difficulties of this dominant, which is to get people to accept your difference and to smoothly fit into your Ego-ideal environment. Then thou shalt no longer write about a scene/community that you no longer care for or part of.
You know me well, you chose to call me Iyoden to make it easier for others to follow. We all listen to something or someone; a conscious, an instinct, a vibe, a feeling and whatever keeps you on track when you need more than cold logic to define you or sustain you.
Auf Wiedersehen Iyoden, I'm going to take over from here.
تمت بحمد الأنا
