Le Printemps Homo devra attendre - 360° Magazine

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When moving forward is moving backwards!?

When you don't step outside your idyllic fantasy for a moment and take a good look at how things are in what seems rather comedy than political public stand-up in Egypt, multinational pumping stumbles and moves MENA hubs out of Cairo.
When you have to delay your internship year of hospital practice for a year until your father turns 60 so that you would be exempted from your hateful compulsory army service, your calculating mental timetable of your future plans snoozes only on your side because the universe doesn't adhere to a time clock meanwhile, your bf's timing in the plans moves a fair step forward in the "normal world".
When you spend more 'mum-is-visiting-until-march' time you get to have space for more interesting grown-ups conversations with your mother, you figure out that you got it many times wrong/hateful as a kid but only now you hear her side of the story so you finally feel more empathetic with the forward her but less with your self-victimizing passive aggressive emotional father.
When it's not quite daytime and not quite nighttime while you are making yourself open to messages about your future. This in-between place is symbolic to your life right now; not knowing where - or how - to go to the next step, Escapes from reality can be wonderful detours if only occasionally allowed; past that healthful point, they take a toll on your well-being.
When you electrify whatever room you walk into, you should finally believe that if you are entertaining angry or vengeful thoughts about someone - even if you never show your anger or seek revenge on that person - you are causing harm. But you aren't causing harm to the one you are upset with; you are causing harm to yourself. By allowing negative thoughts to eat away at you, then you are building a wall around yourself. Each negative or hostile thought is like a brick in that wall. The higher you build it, the harder it will be for good thoughts and positive energy to enter. Let go of what you can't control.
When you know it in your heart that the 40% - where you are only 6% of - of the society can't face the opponent mal-educated religion driven 60%. You feel uninspired, ideas are eluding you, your creativity seems oppressed, your energy is flagging. Then they tell you if you face the music now, you can turn it into a symphony!?

Wrinkle wrinkle deeper scar!

So another year has passed and my "born-on-7-7-09" blog is 3 years old now. Same like how kids start to get annoying by the age of three; my blog is starting to bore me in a way! Maybe because I'm feeling uninspired to write anything for a long time now? Maybe because I grew out of it? Over the years, I've noticed that I usually create something that inspires me then after a period of time it ceases to inspire me anymore to continue doing it. But, I'm not ready to give up on my blog just yet!

And since my to-be-posted posts are still in draft, I'll at least keep my tradition of publishing my favorite readers' comments over the past year as a celebration for my blogaversary!

haha.. god you sound so wierd in arabic.. you're almost a different person in that post, most probably it's because I don't actually know you.. intresting!

anyway, abdo's a dick and you're a whore :p
By Ninja on "حين ميسرة"

نا مش مصدقة!! its very well written. You should definitely write more in Arabic.
طبعا عبده معرس ابن وسخة و انتي قحبة بنت شرموطة بس اللازم اعترف ان انتي فتحتي باب لكل كوانين مصر!! و انا من مكاني ده باحييكي على سفالتك و شرمطك اللي كسرت الحاجز اللغوي بين الكوانين و التعبير عن رغباتهم و تجاربهم الجنسية. هايلة يا ديدي

ps the 'Well of Loneliness' reference is a classic!
By E on "حين ميسرة"

This post is just wonderful, it is genuine, it is true, it is honest, its thrilling and defenitely erotic.
By Anonymous on "حين ميسرة"

Ice Queer, I am knowing you backwards, from end to beginning. And i like what im reading so far. I must admit it's one hell of a ride. You make an excellent existential writer.
By Jess on "حين ميسرة"


And they say dogs r satans! they were the angels who God sent to stop you fornicators from doing what u r doing!
By Anonymous on "حين ميسرة"

probably the best thing u've ever written there...hang in there...and stay focused!
By Anonymous on "In a search for a sanctuary"

You know ow much I like your posts but now this one is realy what I can relate to 100%. I'm glad you saw Vienna like I see Europe and you, going thyere with an open heart and soul, just recieved its gift, a very simple gift that costs nothing and means everything, this is life! I'm glad you noticed the freedom, the greenery, the silence, that everything is real. Work is real, fun is real, acceptance is real and grenery is real... Oh and beauty is real, a beauty that anyone can see not in the eye of the beholder, not immersed in ugliness and not scattered in a matrix of ranomness...
Believe me even if you were thre alone you woul have felt the same, Europe can always make you happy if you go to her with an open heart...
Glad you liked it and keep going there, IT WILL LEAVE A MARK...
By Meto on "Di Vienna rowda mel Ganna"

Wow! If this was a musical album it would be the most exciting and personal to date!
I would give it a Grammy!
Finally something genuine! :P
No I am pulling your leg.. but for once you didn't relay on some cheap trick or shortcut to actually "move" people.
I was moved entirely by your personal struggle, not because there was a controversy or some attempt at sloppy psychology or sexual kink.
This was deep and meaningful and I thank you for sharing it.
By E on "Ich habe keine Geduld"

wow.. my heart rate went up about 35 bpm reading that post! :)

What really grabbed me was the "Running to perfection, running away from the void" statement, I don't know which is actually scarier, the void or the perfection. To me, they both sound as suffocating as each other. Maybe the after-life is just the complete perfection that you keep running away from!
By Ninja on "Ich habe keine Geduld"

*finger snaps*
I swear I could hear you in my head narrating this whole post, it was amazing.
I expecially liked the "fear of your thoughts being judged" and "bathroom of any party/place would be
Your sanctuary". You're a brave brave sole, write on! *fist in the air*
By Michael on "Gayja-vu?"

I don't know you, and I came across your blog as I was googling mine * so narcissistic I know*... I have only read a couple of your posts and I am addicted to it already... and I think what clams us down too is writing about our fears in our blogs, knowing that someone out there might relate to it, might share our fears and anxieties, knowing that we are not the only crazy paranoid oppressed people out there...
I take my hate off to you Ice Queer... Your blog is one of a kind...
By Confessions of me on "Gayja-vu?" 

I absolutely loved it!! it's so genuine and honest!!
Most of these questions i have in my head and i LOVE that movie :)
chapeau 
By Jess on "Gayja-vu?"

I am reading this post 6 months later but the points you mentioned are still valid of course. Living in a country like Egypt requires you sacrifice a lot of things and put so much effort into things that should simply be your basic rights. I agree with you that LGBT rights in Egypt will not really see the light unless Egypt fundamentally changes into a secular country, and God only knows how long that will take! I am scared that you will keep on postponing being totally and perfectly who you are until it's too late. You are still young, I believe now is the time to travel, experience new things and grow both mentally and emotionally then maybe come back to Egypt stronger and fight for LGTB rights having the right knowledge and using the right tools.

Anyways, I am sorry for the long reply. I am not telling you to go or to stay. It doesn't have to be an either/or situation anyway! Just bear in mind that there's a price to pay whatever you decide.

I love you and I'll miss you if you go, but I want what's best for you. Am I not the best person you know born under the sign of Aries? :D 
By Anonymous on "Limbo"

I was so bored and hangover because I can't see my love (it's a long distance, stupid time shifting) and obviously I drank to much so whatever I've keept reading your blog since the morning started and I really like it. Somehow it motivated me to start writing more experiences down like I used to do it a while ago.

Gonna keep reading your blog. Hope everything over there going to get better soon ;-).

PS: Awesome there is even an german interview.
By OldNick on "Ein gewisses Risiko bleibt immer"

Truely inspiring to hear how you and your friends unite for freedom. Just a friendly note to say we are reading about you here in New Zeland and we are thinking of your people, especially our GLBT brothers and sisters who face challenges every dsy
By Anonymous on "Cruising is out in Tahrir Square" 

congrats! Looks like you become a new political voice of the gay egyptians! so that is maybe what it all was meant for... 
By Simonsan on "A gay voice from Tahrir Square - Gay City News"

Hahaha :) I do sometimes feel so hot and do the same chat :)

I never had drinks before bum bum :) It is partly true that the ones who want to have drinks do not come with you to your or his home :)

I had drinks with some. And with any of them we did not have sex :)
By caner on "Don't talk, you'll wreck it"

Ice baby, U r The shit, man. gr8 writing & a lot of fun. we've all been there, wasting time, skirting around the issue. There r times when one wants 2 say "I'd rather be masturbating" ...
Love from Cape Town
By incommonworld on "Don't talk, you'll wreck it" 

Maybe not everyone is emotionally detached as much as you are :)
By Anonymous on "Don't talk, you'll wreck it"

i went on this blog thinking that i might find something i can relate to, stories revealing our struggles being gay in a country where they consider it a sin, instead i found some bullshit about you wanting to "cut to the chase" and have sex. maybe there's more to this blog but the first two posts are a turn off. people like you are the reason why we're discriminated against,thinking that we r a bunch of sexually oriented freaks. seems like you are not any different from all the prostitutes and cheapos on manjam. oh and maybe u should consider changing your shrink, don't think he's of great help to you
By Anonymous on "Don't talk, you'll wreck it"

Don't talk, you'll wreck it!

Last time I wrote a personal post, Mubarak was still in office! I've been writing a certain post for so long that now it looks like random thoughts that are paragraphed only in my head but not on paper so I've decided to post this post to try to break my dry spell(no pun intended)!

Scene I:

Him: heyyyy
Me: Hi
Him: how are u ?
Me: Good
Me: u
Him: i'm great
Him: i'm sorry where do u live again ?
Me: Cairo
Him: hahahah ya i know
Me: I don't remember u either lol
Him: i mean where in cairo ?
Me: (X)
Him: mmm
Him: i'm (X) 22 yrs
Him: lives in (X)
Me: What's ur profile?
Him: but i will be in (X) area for the week
Him: (X) on jam
Him: urs ?
Me: (X)
Him: i like ur pix
Me: Thx
Him: so maybe we can meet for adrink sometime if u want
Me: Can't we just meet 4 sex directly? :p
Him: hahaha
Him: maybe we can meet for adrink first and then we see
Me: I don't understand this abt most of guys in Egypt! Lol
Me: What will happen in "having a drink and seeing"? :D
Me: If it's abt "seeing", u saw me already in pics n you'll c me n have drink or smoke a joint if u want before we've sex lol mesh hanott 3ala ba3d immediately ya3ni
Him: it means we can meet , see each other and have adrink speak
Him: and maybe we have asex after
Me: Aren't we "speaking" now? LOL
Him: ya but u know
Me: Yeah?
Him: sometimes you chat with some one and then u meet him and u see atotally different guy
Me: I'm aware of that, but you've a tongue that u can use and say "u r a nice guy but I don't think we've chemistry"
Him: hahahha
Him: u know what
Him: i really like ur pic
Him: from the chat ya u r nice guy
Me: Yeah thx
Him: maybe we can go for the sex


Scene II:
So I cursed the hormones that made me log on our online freak show and thought about checking "grindr", I mean it's clearly a hook-up mobile app, nothing should go wrong and in the night I should be fucking with someone through it. But little did I assume to know!

Me: Hey sexy, what's up?
Him: Good, u?
Me: Good too, thnx
Him: Where r u from?
Me: Egyptian Moroccan living in (X), u?
Him: I'm Egyptian but living a board
Me: Aha ok! Here on vacation or business?
Him: Business but I'm staying at my parents house in (X)
Me: It's okay, I've got a place
Him: What r u looking for?
Me: Sex

Him: What's ur role?
Me: both, u?

Him: Top
Me: oh really? what's ur dick size?
Him: 17cm but thick
Me: Interesting!
Me: So when r u usually free? Free tomorrow after 2pm if u like to meet for some fun?
Him: I finish work around 2
Me: great then!
Him: We can meet for coffee first
Me: What for?
Him: So we can see each ather, talk a little and c if we get a long
Me: You saw already many pics for me and you'll c me when we meet!
Me: And abt "talking", you've got the 10-15min awkward minutes before sex where u can talk all u want! :p
Him: you r wierd!
Me: No, you r here for 10 days!
Him: so what?
Me: So u r 30 years old, I'm 22 so we're both basically what? 40?! Why can't u just be realistic and accept the fact that there is no need for us to "socialize" or "be friends" since I've a bf, don't need "long distance" friends who live "a board" and I've told u from the beginning that I'm looking for sex!


*The End & I've No Comment, really*

Winds of Change - DNA Magazine

Thanks to Hossein Alizadeh

Homophobia is the solution?

Not too long ago, the ex.vice-president, Omar Suleiman, used "Muslim Brotherhood" as an "Islamophobic" straw-man in all his interviews during the Jan25 Revolution to scare the whole world of what would happen if Mubarak left. Today, the Muslim Brotherhood are using homophobia and xenophobia to attract people's votes like they did before during the constitutional referendum and influenced people to vote "yes"!

On the 3..5.2011, at rally attended by about twenty five thousand people in Tanta, capital of the Gharbiya governorate north of Cairo, Mohammed Badie, leader of the Muslim Brotherhood stated that "it is not permissible for Democracy to allow what's forbidden (haram) or forbid what's allowed(halal) even if the entire nation agreed to it."

He stressed that "the seekers of freedom and democracy and citizenship will only find them in Islam which is keen to build a good man", adding  "the West has allowed gay marriage under the pretext of democracy, which we will never allow in Egypt, and we will not allow under the pretext of national unity that a Muslim woman would get married to a Christian man which violates the Islamic law(Sharia)."

The Muslim Brotherhood infamously campaigned "Islam is the solution" during parliamentary elections a couple of years ago. Today, it says it will contest half of the seats in the country's parliamentary elections in September, revealing plans to become a major force in the country's post-revolution politics (though it had previously promised it would not compete for more than 30 per cent of seats). For this end it has founded a new political party called “The Freedom and Justice Party”, and appointed its new leaders in a press conference last Saturday. 

"This is not a religious or a theocratic party," claimed Mahmoud Morsi, the party's newly appointed hawkish leader. He described the platform of the Freedom and Justice Party as civil but with an Islamic background that adheres to the constitution. Brotherhood leaders said that the political party will be separate and independent from the religious group, although in effect, it was the Brotherhood’s own Shura council that elected the Party’s leaders. Both the party’s leader, and it’s vice president, Dr. Essam Elarian, have been long active in the Muslims Brotherhood of Egypt. The latter infamously declared (when he was the Muslim Brotherhood’s spokesman) during the notorious Cario 52 or Queen Boat incident in 2002: "From my religious view, all the religious people, in Christianity, in Judaism, condemn homosexuality. … It is against the whole sense in Egypt. The temper in Egypt is against homosexuality."

Nine years later, even after the amazing changes taking place in Egypt, has Dr. Essam Elarian changed his mind? In a recent interview to the Guardian he said: "The issue of human rights has become a global language," he said. "Although each country has its own particulars, respect of human rights is now a concern for all peoples" – though he specifically excluded gay rights. So it seems at best he has slightly moderated his tone but not his views.

Although the Brotherhood appears to have firmly embraced democracy, the means for reconciling that with its religious principles are not entirely clear: the issue of God's sovereignty versus people's sovereignty looks to have been fudged rather than resolved, and this is most apparent for women, non-Muslims and minorities, including Egypt’s LGBT community. We can thus rightly ask: for the Freedom and Justice Party – homophobia is the solution to cover up this blatant contradiction?

Article was published on GayMiddleEast 
Article is published on San Diego Gay & Lesbian News
Article got translated into Turkish and published on KAOS GL

Popular Uprisings: Marriage Equality and Gay Rights in Egypt - Global Post

Photo is taken from Gender Across Borders.

The most talked about issue in the gay rights movement in America is marriage equality. And Wednesday signified a historic moment for the LGBTQ community, when the Obama administration announced that, “Section 3 of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) — which prohibits the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages — is unconstitutional and [we] will ask the Justice Department to stop defending the law.” (I agree with others that this should have come sooner. But it is something.)

For me, marriage equality is less about a burning desire to sign a legally enforceable marriage contract with the one I love and more about an expression of my personal freedoms and liberties. I believe every person should have the right to choose whether or not they want to enter into marriage (and have access to the 1,138 federal benefits that come with a marriage contract).

Yet, just like reproductive rights do not encapsulate the entirety of women’s rights, marriage equality is not synonymous with gay rights. Marriage is, in fact, a relatively recent strategic focus (and, some might argue, not necessarily the most important). The issues that we—LGBTQ folks and allies—mobilize around have inevitably changed with time. In America, today our issue is marriage equality; in the past it was decriminalizing sodomy, fighting housing discrimination, etc.. etc., etc.

In the face of changing times and evolving issues, a consistent basis for the LGBTQ movement, and any social movement, is our freedom of association—the individual right to come together with other individuals and collectively express, promote, pursue and defend common interests.

I found myself thinking a lot about this right as I watched the protest movement in Egypt unfolding. And now that the revolutionary masses have left Tahrir Square, I wonder: When people talk about the future of human rights in Egypt does this include equal rights for gays and lesbians? What are the most pressing issues facing the Egyptian LGBTQ community—the issues a movement could be built around (and, perhaps, the issues already being discussed in hiding)?

To date, although Egypt does not have an anti-sodomy law on the books, other laws have been used to target and arrest gays and lesbians, including claims of violations of the “Public Order & Public Morals” code and “violating the teachings of religion and propagating depraved ideas and moral depravity.” The most widely known attack on homosexuals occurred in 2001 and was dubbed “The Cairo 52” — 52 gay men aboard a floating nightclub called the Queen Boat were arrested. The detainees were subjected to forensic examinations, apparently in order to determine whether they had engaged in anal intercourse. They were also forced to say “my name, my job, my address and say ‘I am gay.’” Despite the pleas of international humanitarian organizations, 23 of these men were imprisoned.

I am not the only one wondering “what now?” for the LBGTQ community in Egypt. Last week in the Huffington Post, Keli Goff posted an article in which she expressed skepticism about what the regime’s demise would mean for gays and lesbians. Goff wrote,

“While I hate to be a “Debbie Downer,” it must be said that amid the worldwide jubilation that greeted the news of Hosni Mubarak’s retirement from his chosen profession of dictator, not all are celebrating. A big question mark remains regarding what this new era in Egypt will mean for gays and lesbians.”
And in light of last week’s announcement that the state’s emergency laws might be lifted in six months Katherine Franke offered a thoughtful perspective on the “Gay Rights Angle on the Egyptian Revolution?” Franke wrote,

“As Egypt and its supporters begin to dismantle the decades-old institutionalization of the State of Emergency, it is important to bear in mind the ways in which the denial of basic civil and human rights for sexual minorities can be used to undermine larger projects of democratization that seem not to “be about” gay rights at all.”

On a slightly more optimistic note, the website Gay Middle East (GME) featured an interview with the well-known Egyptian gay blogger IceQueer, in which he stated:

GME: “I suppose it’s too risky and even counter productive to ask directly for LGBT rights in the protests, but how do you see these issues in the context of the revolution and a larger human rights agenda?”
IQ: “You can’t ask for lots of changes that have different affect on people. I mean already asking for “freedom” and “fall of regime” bedazzled the whole country and its people. So imagine what would happen if we asked for LGBT rights?
“I believe that Egypt’s LGBT community can only have its rights when Egypt becomes a real secular country.”

To date, no organization exists in Egypt whose explicit aim is to improve the legal or social position of LGBTQ Egyptians. Furthermore, Egyptian human rights organizations have largely avoided LGBTQ-rights issues for fear of a backlash from the government or socially conservative citizens.

Hopefully, this can and will change now.

Rasha Moumneh—a researcher with Human Rights Watch who works with feminist and LGBT groups in the Middle East—was interviewed on The Gist and provided a nuanced description of what the protests might mean for LGBTQ Egyptians.

“I think the key issue to look at going forward is if there is a democratic transition and if there is a popular government that is truly representative and that does respect human rights. I think the most important thing to look at is whether freedom of expression and freedom of association are going to be guaranteed. I think those are going to be the most indicative things moving forward to see whether work on sexual rights or gender rights is going to be pushed forward.”
It remains to be seen what the popular uprising will mean for every sector of Egyptian society, including gays and lesbians. Whatever it is, it seems likely that meaningful change will be slow to emerge. As a friend of mine likes to say, “Evolution is more complex than a revolution.”

Something that went largely unmentioned in all of the reporting on the recent uprising in Egypt is that before Tahrir Square was the center of the pro-democracy movement it was the most popular place for gay cruising in Cairo. Let’s hope that now it can be home to both democracy and the LGBTQ community.

And as change unfolds, let’s—as an international LGBTQ community—actively support Egyptians. Our issues may be different but our right to express our sexuality and the freedom to collectively promote, pursue and defend common interests is the same.

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