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All the names that are mentioned in my posts are totally fake but they are related in a way to the real person's identity, so you do the maths!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Another Crap!

It's been almost a month since I last spoke with Ezzie and 2 weeks since I last spoke with my only Taurean friend or let me call him A.I, he's Ezzie's best friend since ages, 2 weeks ago I called him few times and he didn't pick up or return my calls, I thought that maybe he's busy blowing someone or something, few days later I read on his Facebook profile that he has a broken elbow, I got worried so I called him but he didn't pick up, so at that moment I felt that something is not right! I texted him to wish him a rapid recovery but still no sign of life from him....
Another abandonment, another disappointment...another crap! It's reached a level of untagging me from some pictures on Facebook! I didn't comment and never will! I never doubted that he could be that childish! He's 30 god damn years old for fuck's sake! I still don't know their reasons behind all of this drama....

I'm very confused, shall I move on? I deserve an explanation but is it worth waiting for? Shall I wait and see where this is going to or it is simply the end? Some incidences like this happened before between them and other common friends, they fight and get back together after some time but shall I accept that? Accept them again if they seeked acceptance?

It's just I'm in a very bad phase right now, I've only 2 best gay friend left but one is living in Alexandria and the other had left the country for good last summer! They are priceless, they complete me, they are really true friends, they always make me feel that there is something missing whenever I try to fit in another group of firneds! even with Ezzie and A.I group, there was still something missing! I wish the trio of us were living in one place, a big lier who said that the internet/phone calls make the world a small village but unfortunately that's the only available choice for us to communicate and it's satisfying a bit!
So now I should either try to fit in Jovee's gang or go through the whole exhausting process of making new friends but I can't do neither this nor that! the more I get closer to Jovee's gang, the more I can't fit in, I feel that they are immature somehow(I never had gay friends who are around my age, they are usually 3-5 years older at least), you know when you feel that you are not getting the expected center of attention or appreciation? I donno how to explain it but I just feel it....again there is something missing! and speaking of Jovee, the more I deal with him without having any agenda, the more I figure out that I was so blind not to see that his paradise is not for me! Touché Madonna!

Bottom line; I will only concentrate on my studies(my finals are pretty soon) and use all my unleashed energy in working out until further notice!


  1. Just move on, and focus on studies. Give yourself the time to have a clear vision, then decide accordingly.

  2. Yeah u r so right! I don't have time 2 breath aslan lol =D I've exam in every corner! Pretty invading =S


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