....Cleaning up my mobile messages, deleting messages about things that I don't want to remember, keeping ones that always make me smile, stopped at that message I sent to Ezzie on his birthday, I just couldn't erase it though it made me feel very sad inside, I know that I'm never sweet to anyone by nature, I've a mask-like face, icy blooded and nothing at all really matters to me, that's me! Can't help it! But I'm always sweet to people I care about, they will always matter to me, it's a high voltage sin for me to upset them! It's just I don't comprehend why he is abandoning me?! I didn't do anything bitchy to him to deserve that, on the contrary I'm the one who has all the right at his side to abandon him, I'm not blaming him for not showing up at my birthday party as he was recovering from his inflammated tonsils, but I'm pretty blaming him for not calling or even texting me ever since!
So YES, I'm abandoning him until further notice!
Shall I reconsider our friendship too?
....Thursday night, at some pub with Jovee and some friends, Jovee telling me about his last date, I asked the waiter for another drink and one drink leads to another, he kept telling me how sweet the date is, how good looking he is, how they do match, bla bla bla...I left him with my aha-interesting-happy 4u responses and told him in the end never to wear rayé on rayé again! you look like a hideous zebra!
OUI! C'est la fin! no more physical interaction with Jovee and from now he no longer exists on my "To be dated" list! Enough with young guys! C'est vraiment trop!
....Human beings are designed for many things, but loneliness is not one of them! So shall I reconsider making a family? Does the idea of ending-up alone and childless really terrify me?! Shall I reconsider my suicide's zero hour and make it pre-40?
Most of healthy marriages last for few years but they continue the devastating dysfunctional marriage for the sake of their children or any other stupid precious reason, Do I want to be part of this drama? Being responsible about the impact of my mistakes on my wife or my kids? I guess I won't be able to do it! I know myself, I'm selfish and self-centered bitch that hate to carry any other responsibilities than mine!
....I'm a secretive guy but lately I'm steaming out more via writing than talking with friends!
Will I be uncapable of expressing myself or confronting others on the long run?
Shall I reconsider blogging?
Yes regarding reconsidering having Ezzie as a friend. He's not giving you the kind of attention you need which is wrong in any friendship. I might be projecting my experience on you in here, I'm sorry but he seems to be taking you for granted.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the suicide thing?! Totally rejected!!
I am not sure about reconsidering blogging. Just follow your instinct!
honey i love you and everything and yes your blog are a bit more interesting than dig and i do suggest that you keep writing moe but habibi look you need a man in your life or you need a very very very very good fuck... i can provide that for you if you want,
ReplyDeleteS.
its ok ....tanx
ReplyDeleteyou need to get laid,
ReplyDeleteMy theory is the more sex u have the less u concentrate on trvial issues like that, if my life was a simple as that i would been the happiest person...
So get laid...
Regards,
S.
you need to get laid,
ReplyDeleteMy theory is the more sex u have the less u concentrate on trvial issues like that, if my life was a simple as that i would been the happiest person...
So get laid...
Regards,
S.
Gia:
ReplyDeleteregarding Ezzie, u r totally right -)
regarding suicide, well I already decided long time ago to suicide when i've nothing left to do with my life =D lessa badri don't worry hehe
regarding blogging, i guess i'll continue blogging
S.: it's not always about sex hun, don't be so blonde! =P
U know my opinion about it , but just believe in urself , and believe that u r the one who can make you happy in all cases and under any conditions.
ReplyDeleteNothing in the world deserve suicide cuz u can always make things better. Just do what u feel , never act , and love the people who desereve to be loved , not the people that u just feel u want them wiz u ;)
Regards,
H.
I agree, go get laid !
ReplyDeleteIm new to ur blog. I find it interesting. I just wanted to say we all @ some point in life discover that who we thought to be a good friend doesnt see us the same way. My advice move on and only be with those who really appreciate having you in their lives, even if you end up alone sometimes.
ReplyDeleteSuicide=come on nothing justifies or calls for taking ones life bec there is always a way and time for things to turn around and get better
For the marrying issue: Im just curious how can you consider that? Will you share with your future wife the truth? or lead her on? Idnt share your opinion that most marriages are dysfunctional. Id say marriages that become dysfunctional are the ones built on false basis and done for the wrong reasons. If you are nt into women I dnt think its fair to go down that road.
As for the "get laid advice" ppl who resort to sex as a way to face their problems could become addicted just like the ones who resort to drinking or drug abuse.
The last Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my blog, glad that u like it.
Well, I'm talking to those friends again now..things r better now =)
About suicide and marriage, they r just thoughts u know, but sure i'll share the truth with my future wife If i've ever married a girl and I do agree that sex can become an addiction at certain point
Hope u keep following my blog =)