The Princess and the Pea

Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a princess; but she would have to be a real princess. He travelled all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were princesses enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real princess.

One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it. It was a princess standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious! what a sight the rain and the wind had made her look. The water ran down from her hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of her shoes and out again at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real princess.
“Well, we’ll soon find that out,” thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bed-room, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid a pea on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the pea, and then twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.

On this the princess had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept. “Oh, very badly!” said she. “I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It’s horrible!”
Now they knew that she was a real princess because she had felt the pea right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds.

Nobody but a real princess could be as sensitive as that.

So the prince took her for his wife, for now he knew that he had a real princess; and the pea was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it.

P.S you don't have to understand what this post is about! =)

Your dick before we click! [Republished]

Scene I:
"Sunny" is a 34 years old Austrian marketing man who works for a respected multinational company and he's just moved to Egypt 6 weeks ago. I was the first guy he's met from the internet, pretty much like many foreigners who move to Egypt and get paranoid at first to meet any gay guy through the internet but thanks for the guestbook entry that made him send me a message, we've fucked twice before we go on a date(will get to that later on), in the first time I thought it will be another one night stand but the sex was good so I craved for more especially after I knew how kinky he'd get, we decided to fuck in the twinky garden of his villa in one of Cairo's gated compounds and it was such a great experiment(since I never did it in a garden before); blowing him after cornering me, getting rimmed while leaning on the back door's stairs, bowling me over the grass, salivary lubricating me, every grass aphrodisiac-ly tickling every nerve ending of my back and ass, moon light reflections on his facial expressions while doing me until I've seen fireworks in the sky within minutes!

For the first time of my life I felt that it would be very awkward to ask someone out after already sleeping with him twice, donno if it is the therapy effect/symptoms or the fact that I didn't want to jeopardize a good fuck by attaching some strings or the doubt that it might be just a sex haze and nothing more but I overcame all of these fears, asked him out and we went on a official date on the next day at Sangria where we had dinner then followed it with a fine bottle of rosé at Intercontinental where you can experiment a very different biospheres separated by just the glass window of the lobby. He knew how to comfort all my worries, how to constantly hold my interest, how to feel comfortable around him, he proved my point that relationship can come after sex and we kept talking for hours from politics to watersports!

Scene II:
In my way to Alexandria for the weekend with Sunny, travelling for the first time ever with a date, totally freaking out; is it too early to travel with him? What Am I doing? Will it be too much intimacy? Would I hate him when I try to resort to my privacy, space & solitary? Will I be that into cuddling him?
Surprisingly he really knew how to well handle me and my anxiety, he was so smooth, lively and knew how to enjoy me and how to make me feel fully naked around him!

But still, I couldn't stop over thinking and over analyzing; Is it too early to introduce him to my close Alexandrian friends? Is he freaking out? Is getting that close that early, will be repulsive? Are we getting closer? Will I be able to commit again after 3 years of absolutely no commitment? Monogamy, one day?
I tried to do like him and just go with the flow, and Pisces are the best at going with flow and not to think much; problems will solve themselves by themselves/time, disconnecting whenever anything seems noisy or aching...tried to do many things that are not that much of my nature/Scorpio's nature and I felt better, maybe what I did was somehow "balancing"!

Scene III:
Back to Cairo, my space, my liberty, my bed and my men! Freaking out again, feeling that I'm losing control, worried to let go, my brain is getting claustrophobic inside my skull due to the overload of thinking, my soul is getting merinthophobic and my heart is getting neophobic!
I ran into my contacts list and decided to get laid! The first guy is the ex.bf of one of my fuck buddies, very classy and well educated, living in one of those very adult apartments that made me feel like I was about 16 visiting the home of a friend whose parents thought I was a bad influence, we kept talking in none sense, until sex was brought up and he told me that I'm a nice guy and everything but he didn't feel any sexual chemistry! I felt like I was the jerk du soleil! I've never got sexually rejected right in front of my face before, especially from a guy who is less good looking than me! I quickly left his apartment and called the other guy who has been chatting with me for over a year, begging me to meet him and I knew that he'll be a real shot in the arm for my sexual self-esteem!
He is 41 years old, professor at the AUC, recently divorced and with two kids, great dick and fit body. We had a quickie apparently in his kids room(I figured that out after climaxing!), there was a cross above the bed's headboard, two mirrors capturing me while having sex, got shocked when I knew that I lifted my ass with a pillow that had "Love you Dad!" with a real picture of his kids on it. There wasn't the slightest string attachment, I felt like shit while taking a shower afterward, felt as if the water served as retro-baptism for every cheap touch the prof touched me, I was blinded by my Ego and fears!
I quickly got into my clothes, left my crime scene and ironically laughed at the thought of the AUC offering me a scholarship for sleeping with a third professor!

However, I thought I'll feel okay to sleep with another guys as I'm not exclusive to Sunny yet, but surprisingly I didn't PERIOD!

A post to remember

The following post was published July 2008 on "Awkward Sex in the City" blog:

She is not me!

I have had endless discussions with Bad G about Madonna's latest album, 'Hard Candy', I was debating the artistic merit of the work, and G was arguing how the album is the perfect answer to Madonna's Catch 55, (she is turning 50 and its a whole new world if you have the unfortunate condition of being a "woman in the arts" and hitting 50).
He said that she managed to push the envelope one more time (to me, its one last time!) and raise a few eye brows along the way. He even supplied the invaluable information that Madonna commissioned the photographer who worked with her on her Sex book to do the cover of Hard Candy.
(for further information you will have to personally contact Bad G)
And then I listened to the album, and the banal performance, overstated lyrics, trashy-eighties arrangement, made sense.
It was a very strong statement, for a woman who has been doing this for over two decades.
In the album Madonna tackles a wide array of themes that all happen in the "store", a metaphoric space for a club, bar, home, not-home, life. Whatever you make of it.
And in the club, some skinny, tall bitch might try to steal your guy, steal your spot, steal your thunder, this is when you say bring it on! And lets see who can run the show! So for Madonna, this bitch is not "her".
No matter how young, tall, or sexy her legs might be.
I believe the same analogy applies here.
The blogging world is not the same as Pop world, the space here is more temporal, less tangible, and not so much fraught with the same consumerism. Its more impersonal and yet there is more visibility or a certain, surreal level of connectivity but if some trashy, nineteen year-old thinks she can blog then she is wrong!
Two years blogging is like two decades making music. I am not Madonna, but I have been around long enough here not to be compared with a nineteen year-old with an attitude!
Bitch, if you want to blog bring it on! And I will show you what blogging is!
hackneyed phrasing, cheesy graphics and Facebook advertising, what is this!
The bitch had the nerve to tell me that her style is more "accessible", yes of course if you are mentally retarded!
When your blog gets rated as the voice of sexuality in Cairo, come talk to me bitch!
Posted by E at 4:41 AM

I'm really glad I'm not you!