Weeks ago I've received a phone call from one of my friends telling me that he bought "Cleo" magazine December issue because it had "Egypt SEX Bloggers, Homosexuals' online haven" big title on the cover so he joked around with his bf and told him that it will be so funny if he found my blog inside, and little did he know! I was there! he was shocked, called me directly and transmitted his shock to me!
I was so surprised when I heard the news, was excited but scared in the same time, told my bf, all my friends and readers about the great news via facebook and SMSs then it hit me! Am I going so far? Am I attracting wrong/un-necessary attention to my blog? Am I risking my anonymity? Is my freedom of speech jeopardized now?...then I said "FUCK IT"! I should enjoy my few minutes of fame, so I ran the next day to the nearest shop to buy the issue but to my surprise I was censored! The information bureau already noticed the issue and ordered the magazine to censor that report! But thankfully(and finally! :P) my friend scanned what was there for me, I guess the issue he bought was from the first edition:
Also, I'm going to go on TV but won't write about it now for security reasons(it's starting already! :P)
Don't you feel sometimes that you want to pause your life, take a deeper look and record many things you are experimenting even the utterly trivial ones of it? Well, this is the place/space where I'm able to do that and steam out my thoughts, confessions, observations and events that had an impact on my life in a way or two!
You've been notified!
All the names that are mentioned in my posts are totally fake but they are related in a way to the real person's identity, so you do the maths!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The joke was on me?
"It's okay to appear publicly without a date on new year's eve, so drag your lazy ass & join our party tomorrow at...."
That was the invitation message that I've sent to my guests for new year's eve party, I was so excited about that party, I did it as a favor for some semi-friends to save their day as they were going to throw a party but they couldn't find a place to rent so I offered to host the party at my bf(Sunny)'s place. They told me that they will bring all the booze and the food, I've met them a day before for preparations, I just made some remarks about their guests that I don't want them to be in the party and everything went fine so far.
I was out of plastic cups & water, I called metro market 2 hours before the party starts, people arrived and started using the temporary glass cups, metro didn't arrive yet, the glass cups started to finish, people started to ask me for cups and also Ice, I kept calling metro but number was always busy, Sunny offered to go get the stuff faster, I was stressed, some unwanted guests showed up, I got nervous and dragged the other organizers(the semi-friends) to ask them what are those guys doing here? They told me to relax and If I REALLY don't want them here so they'll ask them to leave but it's new year's eve and people want to have fun bla bla bla...I didn't relax!
More weird, unwanted, low-class and feminine guys arrived, guests were constantly reminding me of the minutes left to midnight, I got more stressed out, I strictly said that there won't be any countdown before Sunny arrives, I left my nightmare inside and went outside in the garden for some fresh air, holding my drink, flashes from my childhood were haunting me; when I changed lots of school, always felt like an outsider, insecure & anti-social around people out of my social pool...etc
They started the countdown, Sunny sent me a "Happy new year" message with a sad face. Suddenly it hit me, the invitation's joke was on me; I was there in public without a date to kiss at midnight on new year's eve! I got so angry and furious, If my Icy brain could still send signals to my face, you could see the tear in my eyes! I ran to my room upstairs, standing by the window and was desperately waiting for Sunny to come back! The seconds felt like years until he arrived.
I ran from my room, bumped into "Ezzie" on the stairs, he got so worried about my state, followed me until I ran outside the house to Sunny...I told Sunny everything, took him upstairs and burst into tears between his arms! I didn't need anyone but him at that moment, he was the only shoulder I needed to cry on, to be weak in front of him, to show all my naked emotions and fears that were leaked from my lacrimal glands in silence....I relaxed by then!
I went downstairs, nothing on my mind but "Those people are light-year behind from deserving my tears!", driven by my adrenaline, threw every unwanted one outside with the great help of my "Seeker-Sagi" friend, didn't care about those semi-friends; I had my bf, my friends and all people that I like were around me, supporting me, drinking with me, dancing with me and even kissing me(FISH)....the party started by then!
But there something that has changed in me after what happened, I can't really explain it but I feel it. I cleaned my MSN & FB lists, I started to be skeptical about meeting/doing/socializing with people that are outside my social or class pool, I don't really care anymore about the idea of the risks of losing people, the risks of being socially or politically stupid! I donno if I'm still drunk with powers & driven by the power of rejecting & throwing all these people outside or If I'm growing up or If there is a shift in the order of my self-confidence. All I know is that I like it and I'm enjoying it!
Happy new years everyone! =))
That was the invitation message that I've sent to my guests for new year's eve party, I was so excited about that party, I did it as a favor for some semi-friends to save their day as they were going to throw a party but they couldn't find a place to rent so I offered to host the party at my bf(Sunny)'s place. They told me that they will bring all the booze and the food, I've met them a day before for preparations, I just made some remarks about their guests that I don't want them to be in the party and everything went fine so far.
I was out of plastic cups & water, I called metro market 2 hours before the party starts, people arrived and started using the temporary glass cups, metro didn't arrive yet, the glass cups started to finish, people started to ask me for cups and also Ice, I kept calling metro but number was always busy, Sunny offered to go get the stuff faster, I was stressed, some unwanted guests showed up, I got nervous and dragged the other organizers(the semi-friends) to ask them what are those guys doing here? They told me to relax and If I REALLY don't want them here so they'll ask them to leave but it's new year's eve and people want to have fun bla bla bla...I didn't relax!
More weird, unwanted, low-class and feminine guys arrived, guests were constantly reminding me of the minutes left to midnight, I got more stressed out, I strictly said that there won't be any countdown before Sunny arrives, I left my nightmare inside and went outside in the garden for some fresh air, holding my drink, flashes from my childhood were haunting me; when I changed lots of school, always felt like an outsider, insecure & anti-social around people out of my social pool...etc
They started the countdown, Sunny sent me a "Happy new year" message with a sad face. Suddenly it hit me, the invitation's joke was on me; I was there in public without a date to kiss at midnight on new year's eve! I got so angry and furious, If my Icy brain could still send signals to my face, you could see the tear in my eyes! I ran to my room upstairs, standing by the window and was desperately waiting for Sunny to come back! The seconds felt like years until he arrived.
I ran from my room, bumped into "Ezzie" on the stairs, he got so worried about my state, followed me until I ran outside the house to Sunny...I told Sunny everything, took him upstairs and burst into tears between his arms! I didn't need anyone but him at that moment, he was the only shoulder I needed to cry on, to be weak in front of him, to show all my naked emotions and fears that were leaked from my lacrimal glands in silence....I relaxed by then!
I went downstairs, nothing on my mind but "Those people are light-year behind from deserving my tears!", driven by my adrenaline, threw every unwanted one outside with the great help of my "Seeker-Sagi" friend, didn't care about those semi-friends; I had my bf, my friends and all people that I like were around me, supporting me, drinking with me, dancing with me and even kissing me(FISH)....the party started by then!
But there something that has changed in me after what happened, I can't really explain it but I feel it. I cleaned my MSN & FB lists, I started to be skeptical about meeting/doing/socializing with people that are outside my social or class pool, I don't really care anymore about the idea of the risks of losing people, the risks of being socially or politically stupid! I donno if I'm still drunk with powers & driven by the power of rejecting & throwing all these people outside or If I'm growing up or If there is a shift in the order of my self-confidence. All I know is that I like it and I'm enjoying it!
Happy new years everyone! =))
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