Do I always get attracted to the wrong guys? Do I really have commitment issues? Do I ask too much from one guy? And is it true that not good-looking people get married-whatever the commitment is-more than the good-looking one as they don't seek perfection?
.....Playing with my hair, smoking my favorite cigarette, reflecting, trying to remember guys I've met/done in the past two years, the crushes, the stalkers, the sexual crushes, the dating disasters, the assholes, the wannabes, the awesome one nightstands, the perfect fuck buddies and the unidentified relationships. But I could only concentrate & talk now about the last four guys!
B. is a decent, classy, bisexual-oh really?!-, around my age, shares the same mentality, quite sexy but psycho! What was I doing?! How am I still talking to him?! How would any sane guy date someone who is on about four psychological medicaments? How did I bare his crappy mood-swings, his shitty chronic bipolarity, his personality disorders, his inability to sexually perform without being stoned or drunk and and...?! Was it the guilty feelings of letting him down that kept haunting me whenever I decide to leave him alone with his issues that he can't change? Yes, I had the extremely desperate hope that he will change one day and appreciate that I was
there for him, that pretty future image which was giving me some faith but apparently the image
was like a fake fabulous "Prada" bag which was shiny from outside but "Nada" from inside!
It's just I can't! I really don't know how to detach myself! I spent a lot of time in this
unidentified relationship, a lot of bed sheets, an awesome night together in the hotel and
definitely huge effort to turn him from someone who doesn't even kiss to someone who tops the
rimming job and from someone who wasn't aware of how things work in our special world to someone who is aware enough now to be Mr.right for anyone else! and they call me impatient!
Writing the previous lines, made me figured out that lately I'm a magnet to the guys who are
new into the gay world!
Anyway, these were just some thoughts that ran through my head lately in the occasion of
celebrating myself for being single for 2 years by the next Sunday(July the 13th)!
Go to part two
Graphics by: Mazin A.Jeffery
Dude! Seriously your new entry is the next "Prada", making the first one a "Nada" : )
ReplyDeleteMake me think, three days after your anniversary, I will be celebrating my three years single state; after a three years relation.
Yippie!
I drifted off my point I wanted to talk about in the previous comment:
ReplyDeleteI believe we all have to pass by those people; reminds me of an entry I read on another blog, talking about someone who was polished and given to the work by heart breaking the guy and exhausting his emotions. It's a must-go-through step.
Just remember the juicy moments and most of all, how much you were NOT self centered when you are falling for someone.
Here is something that I will share with you. If you want to be valued then you cannot keep going to someone who has hurt you. They have done it once and they will do it again. De-attach your self from them because you 1. Deserve better and 2. I think you should be valued more than what you are give credit for. Don’t look for someone you can fix or make perfect. They should already be. Meh better 2 years single than broken right?
ReplyDeleteقريت اللي انت كاتبه .. بس احب اوضح نقطه بسيطه .. انه فيه فرق بين انك تساعد حد و انك تحب الشخص ده .. من الجميل انك تساعد الناس و انك تحاول انك تغير منهم .. بس من الحكمه انك تنسحب في الوقت المناسب اذا لقيت ان الشخص ده لا يستحق المساعده او انه شخص لا يقدر كل ما تفعله من اجله ..
ReplyDeleteفي الاول و الاخر انت غلطان لان انت انجذبت للشخص الغلط .. اوك المرض مش بايدينا .. بس انت تتكلم عن مشاعر و عن واحد ممكن انه يجرحك .. حاجه من اتنين اما انك تقبل انك تنجرح و تكمل مع واحد ميستحقش زي نانسي عجرم في اغنية انت ايه .. او انك تنسحب زي الحاجه ليلي غفران في اغنية اسهلهالك .. المغزي ان الاختيار يرجع ليك انت .. بس لو انا مكانك .. بصراحه كنت جريت .. لان الشخص ده في الاول و الاخر اشوفه غير مدرك لافعاله ..
عموما حاول تفتكر له الاوقات الحلوة اللي انت قضيتها معاه و حاول انك تفكر الف مرة قبل ما تحب حد .. العقل مهم اننا نشركه معانا لما نيجي ندور علي علاقات و خصوصا في عالم الاولاد ..
نصيحه اخيرة لما تقابل اي اولاد تسألهم سؤالين ..
1- انت تستخدم اي ادوية نفسيه ؟؟
2- معاك كوندوم ؟؟ ههههههه
hey baby!!! missin u and i LOVE LOVE LOVE ur style of writing it's makin me fuckin crack up and it's honest and therefore liberating as hell :)hey i gotta cu this weekend coz i am leaving on monday forever!!! hopefully i'll be in town by sunday heard u r comin here though sa7? we cant miss each other so call me or text back!!! muchos love!! urs xxx bou
ReplyDeleteLou: I'm flattered! =)) and if I learnt anything from this unidentified relationship is that never to date any bisexual or guy who just came out of the closet!
ReplyDeleteFlawed: I'm already trying/going to detach myself and it's very hard 2 find someone u'd like so when i find someone who has few impurities, i try to clear those impurities as i believe in good in ppl =)
Btw i didn't love him and he didn't break my heart!
Anonym.: I knew about the medicaments too late =)
Bou: Heyyyy am so happy u liked the blog, and yes am coming on either Sunday or Monday thu i hate saying good-bye =(
Hey i (or e, whatever spelling you prefer) - Few are those bloggers who make me want to comment on their blogs. I mentioned it in one of my entries:
ReplyDeleteBisexuals do not exist. They are either:
1. Sexually confused people who just label themselves Bis in order to be a bit comfortable in their skins.
2. Extremely sexual animals who only seek a hole to calm their desires.
We neither want this or that, right?
Keep the good blogging up, you're totally one of my recommended blogs.
very very beautiful i like it
ReplyDeleteDigg: Hey! I really appreciate ur comment, u r one of my favorite bloggers =)
ReplyDeleteHehe yeah tell me about bisexuals! I totally agree with u, u know what? Mr.B once told me that when he is fucking a girl, he cums only when he thought about me or any other guy =))
P.S: Check ur mail inbox =)
Anonymous 2: Thanks sweety
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteay hazayan we khalas
ReplyDelete