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All the names that are mentioned in my posts are totally fake but they are related in a way to the real person's identity, so you do the maths!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

He's just not yet inside of me!

It was Thursday, I was so bored I could die, almost everyone is outside Cairo, there wasn't any party in the corner, so I thought it's just about time to go on a date with that "Str8 acting" guy who made an appearance on my MSN after long time of being offline! So I called him, he had another call, I hanged up and waited for him to call back but he didn't! So I didn't bother and called Jovee to meet him up for some drinks in down town with his friends.

In a moment in between drinking and discussing Obama's speech; the "stud du jour" called me, he said that he's going to call me this weekend but I didn't give it much attention donno why, he said that he'll be around my part of the city in a while and was checking what I'm up to! I told him that am going back to one of Jovee's friend's place so I'll be waiting there until he arrives. And just right after I hanged up; my "Str8 acting" guy called and asked where I'm and what I'm up to, so I told him the same though I wasn't that keen to meet him!
so I made it to Jovee's friend's place, fixed myself a drink and was starting to enjoy it when stud du jour called me announcing his arrival to our meeting point, I told him that I'll be there after 5 minutes and excused from Jovee and his friends. While driving to our meeting point, I could only think about how invincible my self-confidence became; I was so surprised of myself, few years ago If I was about to meet someone who is too hot for me like stud du jour, I get nervous, uncomfortable and anxious as if I was wearing Tawheed Wal Noor in a room full of Chanel, but now it got totally different though I'm pretty much still physically the same so I could help but wonder what have changed? Is it the not-expecting-anything? or my experience over the past 5-6 years? or the very known fact about me that I always get what I want no matter how long it takes me?! How far invincible would my self-confidence get? Isn't it a slope that is too slippery without boundaries?!....BAAAM I drove in the wrong direction and the officers,who were blurry shaped for me right now when I landed my eyes on him, took my driving license and registration paper and I was determined to pay 70 pounds in the station by Saturday!

I parked and got inside his car, we talked while he was wandering by the car then he asked me If I'd like to join him & his friends on the birthday party of his ex.boyfriend, he mentioned his friends' names, I know some of them and S was already there so I couldn't find a reason not to join him although I didn't quite digest the idea of meeting his friends while we've just met, and oh don't get me start talking about the idea of attending his ex.BF's birthday party! I never understood the "becoming friends" illusion, I just don't have the patience to clean up more and more mess after getting over an ex.BF and moving on but is it true what some people say? that keeping a reasonable friendly level of communication after breaking up where you can look in the face of an ex and talk to him/her without feeling a grain of love or hate, it's then you know it's really over?!

His friends had been really drinking their asses off, they were so sweet and funny especially his ex who I've always perceived that he is cold and stuck up but I LOVED the drunk ex of him although I got bored very quickly because I got more sober minute by minute, stud also was getting bored for the very same reason and when I thought the boredom would get any further, S took stud aside and then he came back to me saying that stud is not interested! I was like "WTF?! How could u do so? What was the conversation about?!" then S told me that he said he's not interested and out of the blue I found S grabbing me and confronting me with stud to let us talk and see if we were interested or not!!! I felt so embarrassed and would have killed S right there If I didn't know that he was wasted, that's typical drunk S; saying the politically incorrect words with the wrong people in the very bad time!
So before I'd become cruella de ville, I felt it was time to call it a night!

In my way back home, I kept narrating in my head what S had told me as I didn't get any negative vibe or message from stud's side and I always trust my instincts so I just disregarded what he had said and threw it away just when I was brushing my teeth and taking my contacts off; stud was calling me! I didn't expect that he'd call so I waited a little bit before picking up, we said the regular Hellos and he said that he was calling to check on and see if I got back home one piece! It was so sweet of him but what does that mean? the ball in my court or something? I'm the one who will have to make the next move? I never liked this kind of politics and I already know that this is not going anywhere further than sex and maybe friends, so why the whole mixed vibes and messages?
Is he just not that into me or is he just not inside of me yet? This is the question!


  1. Welcome back !

    Well as you said you guys just met ,so I guess when S. confronted him he was taken off guard, so I guess he is intrested, just need some time and by time i mean a couple of days :)

    Well about the confident feeling , We have been through alot , and experience made you realize the real you and that what made us so confident as to be honest there is no reason not to be :)

  2. IQ habibi hmmmm hahahahahah i am so sorry ... but again intoxicated was an understatement... well okay as i said in my at that time of under the influence... it made perfect since.. tell you and him that you guys are not interested so that you guys get rid of the tension and becomes best friends for ever and ever and every as i said was intoxicated! lol sorry about that again hayyati but i like the last sentence of the blog

  3. You crack me up with your humor. Tawheed and Noor in a room full of Chanel and the last line about not being inside you yet are awesome.

    E and S from the UAE

  4. XY: Yeah maybe some time!

    S: well, ur birthday party is soon so u better watch out! =P

    E&S: thank u 4 ur sweet comment, glad u liked it! =)

  5. can you sabotage my birthday.. the day the celebrates the glorious day that i escaped the vagina... the day that i decided i never wanna be next to it again ... the day of freedom ...

    no you are too good to ruin a day that celebrates a gay mans freedom from the "VAG"

  6. Hmmm..inside you seems like a comforting, warm and loving place to be. LOL !!

    S and E from the UAE.

  7. E&S i use to live uae... where did you guy live in uae @ i use to be in dxb for two years and auh for two months

    it was a damn experiance i guess

  8. bobo...cant help but comment, tho i never thought i would before...

    i know we tend to be over-analytical, but this is too much sweety...why dont u let things flow ? i dont see no vibes or nothing, just a normal after party least out of courtesy...

    yet i find it useful that you got tht idea he wasnt interested early enough...his answer wouldve been otherwise...donno, its too early...u know that kind of common sense...

    he seems like quite a sane and nice guy...see how it goes as friendship...can you try not to let him inside you ??

    Xx , K

  9. K, i was sort of there with IQ that day it was interesting and i think his analysis are correct... i dont think he even way over analyzed .. actually what even suprized more about IQ was his reaction when i spoken to him the next day he was very mature in handling this.. like if i saw other guys in his situation and they met this stud .. and trust me oh he was a stud and not only just looks he had everything good as apackage they would have went all like "why was he not into me" "should i call him the next day" then they will send the guy a million messages... and i seen it happen infront of my own yes with other guys around him... IQ had a very chill responce which was like ...mmmmm yeaaa if he calls he calls if he doesnt eshta...

    and with regards to his entry being anylitical i dont know i thought it was the right amount its healthy for a person to look at himself and analyze whats happening in order to grow personally and learn from these new experiences

    Q formerly known as S

  10. E&S: lol ok am flattered!

    K: i've nothing 2 say after what S has just said, but why u want me 2 try not 2 let him inside? =P

    S: Exactement! Thank you!

  11. Why let him inside of you? How about you get inside of him? ;)

  12. what the hell was that last comment..brrr

  13. Oh ice why do you always cross paths with such people who give mixed messages and are not that frank about their feelings, is it the sign of the century or people just think they are too good to admit they are into someone beats the hell out of me but hoping you would meet someone who knows what he wants and are not afraid of going after it.
    Until then drop Stud till he knows what he wants

  14. Hello: What's the difference? ;)

    Anony: lol seems that he/she didnt read my old post about pansexuality! =D

    Sou: I hope too and I wished it was that easy!

  15. Haven't been around for a while. I came today and found that I have been quoated with that grain of love or hate! Thank you.

    I enjoyed the post, and from now on "wearing Eltawheed Wel Nour in a room full of Chanel" will be my occasional words when they are relevant.

    Don't get surprised even when it is the title of a new post of mine when I get the energy to show up again in my blog.


  16. Interesting! But can you remind me of your identity plz? =)

  17. We as the brobrieters of tahweed wel noor wish to reject that our service and costumes are of any kind of inferior standard.

    Chanel is for namby pamby gay boys. Real men shop at Tahweed wel noor.

    We kill faggots.....

    So sue us!

    The managements
    Tahweed wel Noor

  18. Hey can I join?? Ok mmmmmmmmhh so first i don't know any of you but he seem that he make use of u to go with him to his ex birthday why he date you in same night that he will go the that BD !!!!! Second if u loved somebody strong and real love then u get a break so how u can be friends coz it is nothing but pain in ass.


  19. Thank u dear 4 ur comment! =)
    btw feel free to check my previous posts thru the archive


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