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All the names that are mentioned in my posts are totally fake but they are related in a way to the real person's identity, so you do the maths!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

There's always a butt!

"Just stop seeing the person that I've been and start seeing the person I
could be. Look at me, not the Edie that I show the world. In fact - let's
lose her. Forget the blouse that she wears because she knows it shows off
her cleavage. And the skirt that's so short, because she knows that guys
love long legs. And the heels, the ones that make her legs look even longer.
Forget the bra that holds her breasts a little higher than they are on their
own these days. And the panties, the ones that hide the scar from my
c-section. This is it. Hi, Carlos. I'm Edie. I might not be the woman that
you thought I was under all of that but I'm real, and I'm here. And I'm
asking for a chance."
Edie - a desperate housewife

It's been a while since I last wrote anything, lots of things were happening lately that I wanted to write about but I ended up writing nothing with no significant reason like S's Black & White fabulous party which was full of in-closet guys, Echo's housewarming party that was literally a FISH party packed up with lots of Lesbians, my sister's future fiancé & my forbidden lust, my sexy colleague who truely represents our homoerotic culture; giving me "hard" time in elevators & living up to my homoerotic high school teenaging hormones that I've never experimented!
Yet, I couldn't resist writing about three particular guys who "popped up" in my life lately.

Addy, a 26 years old South African Indian guy who was raised in London of a Business tycoon father & a designer mother, very sexy looking, very impressive personality & a career that is highlighted by building-up himself without his parents' help or interference , bottom line; a very successful good looking fashionista.
I've been chatting with him for so long but we couldn't meet because he partially lives in Egypt and not even in Cairo, so I got so excited when he told me last April that he'll be visiting Cairo for few days and the next thing I knew, we were having dinnger at Sequoia over the spring nile view!
He really knew how to arouse my interest and hold it, how to move from a point to another and from a topic to another, how to impress me with unsual things...etc I so wanted him to be my plus one for S's B&W party, so I invited him and passed by his hotel in the next day to pick up with him what he would wear for the party, had few drinks before we go and 30 minutes later we were passing through the black & white curtains to ring the villa's bell, got myself comfortable with having many familiar faces around, fixed myself a bacardi(my fav!) so I can quickly get into the mood, then we danced together and the rest is history!
Next day, I went to his room in the afternoon, had long talks, cuddled, had sex and actually cuddled again(so not me lol)! The sex was amazing(I do LOVE Scorpios on bed) but it wasn't about the sex, it was about the moment after; when the world stopped & I felt safe and secured!

But, he is partially living in Red Sea, spends most of the year in South Africa, so it is not going to work out no matter how much I like him!

José, a 28 years old Spanish Coloumbian guy working in Lodon, we met two weeks ago in Sofitel Gezirah's nile garden over 2 Michelle's Roses drink, he surprised me by how quickly and intensely I got comfortable around him, I met him with the intent of having just a one night stand but little Did I know that I'll instantly like him and spend more than 6 hours with him; we talked about everything from politics to gay lifestyles in different countries...too much clicking for me with a Taurean guy!
A while later, we went to his room, my dick went from being as soft as cocoon to as hard as a nuclear warhead, I was getting naked without breaking up our kiss, got captured by his looks; the thick pitch black eye brows, pools of dark brown for eyes and a treasure tail that would make a pirate jealous! whoever said that Spanish guys are great on bed is a big fat psychic! The sex was mind-blowing, I didn't see that coming, it was the best sex I've had in months and I'm not exaggerating!
We then showered together, wanted to complain to the hotel management about the tiny bath tabs despite the great renovations they did to the whole building, orderd dinner to the room, watched a movie on TV together and then I had to give him some sleep before his early morning London flight!

I liked him so much, he has the whole package of my dream man, but he lives in London and he only comes to Cairo two times a year!

K! over & over! He is back to Cairo for a short notice before he travels to his next destination, I've met him few times in that small vacation but they were too intense to maybe equal to the other times I saw him in the past 2 years altogether!
I got bored of the whole "unlabeling" pahse were in for so long, I thought it's about time to end the "being casual" thing and confront him with what has been stored on my mind in a dusty corner! I told him what I don't like about him; that he's always busy with his too many friends, that he rarely takes any move and that he doesn't express his emotions or what's on his mind thought I totally understand the latter two as it is a Scorpio nature but I just couldn't tolerate it anymore, I really like him so much, I want to be with him and I can see a future for us together though it is weird for me say that about someone I've not slept with yet!
Back in the past when we first met, I knew he liked me and I was the total bitch I'm but now it has got reversed and he is not sure If he still has those old feelings deep inside or not! I sensed that he has a lot to say but can't express it so I requested him to write down everything he wanna say and I'll wait for that message!

He has probably arrived to his destination while I'm typing this, I know that he'll read this post & freak out but I don't care, I steamed ou what I wanted to say and I'll be waiting for him when he comes back on August because he's worth it & he made me pass through things that I haven't experminted in a LONG time; I was that close to shut down my profile in all the gay dating websites!

Phew! such a long post!


  1. i can feel what u r facing when u meet 3 good ppl and non of them can be exist in ur world.

    Move on!
    i guess there so many others can be more interesting and u might love them much more..
    i been there when the life was all about one person who i ll give my lif for.
    but i learned that this one person should be U..
    love it make it better teach it, but never waste ur time waiting for the past. it was there to make a good history and thats it no more no less, just enjoy the expereince u got from those.
    but be there having ur life and others might join u in some points and leave u in the others.. but its almost never happening seeing those who shares all the points together.. its only on holywood movies.. not in our lives.

  2. LOL!
    I laughed my head off reading the post.. What wouldn't I give to be 20 again?
    Breezing in and out, of love, sex, friendship..

    I am never tired of saying that humans are complex creatures, who have complex needs, no matter how much we try to theorize on the "basic instincts" and "immediate material needs", we are never completely certain if we understand ourselves enough, and hence our needs, to actually know how to fulfill them.
    Or whether what we are doing, actually will fulfill these needs.

    A man traveling through any city, looking for company is no dating material.
    Any girl can tell you that.
    Most girls know that.
    So there goes your two eligible dates.
    There remains Mr. K, your teenage crush, Jesus, all this puppy love makes me noxious.
    Dump his sorry ass and find something better to do.
    If a guy wants you, he will show it, he will say it, he would put a ring on it! *snap snap*
    If he doesn't, then he doesn't and its not worth your time.

    And what the hell with all the raving about S's party?? This is not the East Side!
    You two faced bitch!

  3. i dont have a problem with you being gay but to be honest i have a problem with the fact that your too horny and your english is crap.......and if you dont care about people's opnions then eliminate the comments box from your blog (if that's even possible)

  4. "jovie" :my sweet , sugar honey who r u kiding ur an emotional wreck ur completely lost , u always want whatu cant have , u say u all care about is sex and when something more is not available u want it and vice versa. if u want something real then start dating some1 on long term without puttig sex first but as a thing that will integrate a relationship , ur problem is not having what u want but its knowin what u want and be able to walk the long path towards it u just take the easy way then fall to peaces , to ovecome that u go sleep around then come back to point zero , ur dancing in circles , taking whatever is difficult cuz u sufferd already and u got addicted to it in a way and u dont even know it , my advice: fuck the three guys , dont wait for some1 who wasnt even clear for u, start dating some1 , dont have sex with him for at least 2 weeks ( or with any1 else) so ur emotions will be intensed even if it didnt work u will have trained urself already. stop searching for pain or drama start something clear from the start

  5. Another brick in the gay wallMay 7, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    Hey Eddie !
    I'm glad u r looking for a chance, keep trying :-P

    I was kidding, I know u r not Eddie, even Eddie hides a good person inside !!

    LOL (aحmd is amusing himself :D)

    seriously, Nordine, I'm glad that u've found 3 interesting guys, i've experienced a conversation with som1 who didnt want to think about getting a boyfriend because he was afraid of being disappointed with the boring guys out there. I think i will recommend this post to him to read ;)

    btw, i once watched on Tyra show (do u know??) a girl that was complaining that she was always falling in love with gay guys only, she said she didnt know the reason, why this happened all the time, although she knew IT DOESN'T WORK !!
    A psycho-analyst was there, she talked about mind games, and said that the girl's mind itself put her into such a situation coz she doesnt really want, somewhere in the deep subconscious, to get a real boyfriend, and that's why she is pushing herself,subconsciously, towards guys she knows IT DOESN'T WORK with them!! And, using this mechanism of (running away), she can find an excuse to the part of her personality that wants to get a bf, she would simply say "i did my best, but it didnt work"...

    (I promised to leave a mean commen, and i keep my promises !!)


  6. I just loved the quote you chose for Edie from Desperate house wife although I hate her but it is so sad but true..

    As for the rest of your post, I am glad you feel more happy and comfortable let's just leave it at that :)

  7. Interesting concept... is there such a thing as "too horny"?

  8. Don't knock Ice's English. My god, even Charles Dickens didn't come up with such phrases as "my dick went from being as soft as a cocoon to being as hard as a nuclear warhead" or (my own personal favourite), "whoever said that Spanish guys are great in bed is a big fat psychic!" Pure kitsch magic!

    Omg I had to share with you that I saw a profile on manjam that quoted a Spice Girls song... something like 'need a man, not a boy who thinks he can.' lol

    Now THAT is bad english :-D

  9. Is there anyone who would seriously quote something out of the tyra show?! R u kidding me?!!!

    Ok, i got that out of my system, now i can comment.

    Now the question is, when did these 3 encounters happen? I mean does this post describe events that happened last month? am i the only one that finds the fact that u got stirred emotionally by 3 different guys in such a short period, a bit "unstable"?
    That's why i so totally agree with echo and E ( E, i love how colorful ur comments can be, they get funnier by the day).
    This "falling in and out of love" used to happen to me in a moment of total instability in my life, I was looking for someone to cling to, someone that would save me from the world and myself.
    Now leaving my own experience aside, if these words resonate to any extent with your case, I think the questions to ask would be "what do i need to be saved from?" and "why can't I save myself?" in other words, why is your locus of control external?
    maybe your shrink can help with that. Good luck

  10. Unfortunately, I have to agree with the last anonymous, you really sound confused, and in search for something that doesn't and won't exist...It could be you that you are just young, and naive, or in need for an "escape" from your life, and what you want to be and do for the rest of your life.

    I really think you need to focus on yourself. Forget about the random hookups, the people you fall in and out of love with every month, the lust you have for your future brother in law (whatever that means!!!), and just focus on getting to know yourself better. Focus on your studies, your hobbies, your interests (any extracurricular activities in school that are you involved in?), your plans for the future (what do you want out of it, do you like your studies?) your family, friends (real friends that do more than just talk about their last one night stand. Channel that energy somewhere else, and in a more positive way. Find something that you're truly passionate about to do in your spare time. Get busy and active. Do not just "exist" for the sake of existing. Surround yourself with the "right" people who can help you do that if you need to...Only then will love..."real" love in this case, flow...after you have matured, and developed enough to be able to distinguish the "real" from the "fake".

    Best of luck

  11. Ice,

    I love Desperate Housewives. You have no idea!

    Interesting read :) keep having fun - without losing yourself. This is all that matters.

  12. I read this post and feel the urge to ask...

    is it just me o000r...we straight ppl can not possibly be cool and easy-going like u queer guys?

    Answer ya Ice...nawarrny...plz. r we..z straight doing anything wrong? hehe

  13. Sorry guys 4 not replying yet, i just finishing up my finals and will be free after tmrw =)

    Innate: define cool and easygoing!

  14. Interesting post! I enjoyed reading it, especially that it somehow the story of my love/sex life LOL There's always a damn butt.

    But you know what, Enjoy. Make as much love as you can now, and don't worry about tomorrow or whether it's going to last or not.
    Just love and have a good-time.

    By the way, that's one interesting blog you got here! I am browsing.

    Good luck.

  15. There r many of u dear readers misunderstood me; there is a huge difference between liking sum1, having crush, wanting 2 be in relation and actually love sum1! Addy and José were just 2 guys that I liked(e3gab) and thought abt the "what if" while K is sum1 that I want 2 be in relation with(dating), now that have been said, let me reply about other points u mentioned.Echo:Thank u 4 ur nice comment, and yeah I'm living my life and enjoyed those experiences.
    Lol @ hollywood endings

    E:I already replied abt the "travelling" men.
    About K, well it is more complicated than that donno why =S
    About S's party, hahaha the party was great and I was being honest, where is the double-facing?

    Anonymous:Thank u, hope u can actually look or understand beyond my "crappy" English but I guess not!

    Jovee:Thank u but I guess I don't need an advice about my dating life from someone with HUGE commitment issues like u =P
    And no hun, it was never about sex only(psychological projection? Hehe), it is just I rarely find anyone special!

  16. a7md:lol Tyra? Seriously? =P
    thank u 4 the funny comment(not mean :p)

    Sou:u hate Edie? C'mon She is funny!
    Who is ur fav then?

    Scarab:lol exactement!

    Anonymous:haha thanks sweety, je suis flatté =)

    Anonymous and "Hello":I hope that I made myself clear with my last reply =)
    And btw my blog doesn't represent my whole life dimensions so please no need 2 throw prejudice!
    Thank u 4 reading and leaving a comment

    Posh:DHW is my fav show after sex and the city =D
    Thanks sweets

    Sarah:Thank u 4 ur very nice comment and glad that u find my blog interesting =)

  17. Ice

    I am not sure your reply changed really how I think about the situation (attraction, love, liking, or having a crush...I still think it's too much too soon for it to be anything significant)...I understand of course that this blog doesn't represent your whole life...I just based my opinion on the posts I have read so far about you, and they all seemed to lead towards that direction. I was not being judgmental whatsoever, so I am sorry if I came across this way. I was just offering my perspective and my take on the situation given the limited info that you make available about yourself in your blog.

    Anyway, please have a great day, and keep on blogging!

  18. You r such a nice person =)
    you maybe right about Addy & José, but I've seeing K for 2 years!

  19. Hahaha, okay can't say anything about K then :)

  20. My "Ice" queer , ur always defensive, still going on :attack is the best defense , thats not gonna get u anywhere still am sticking to my point ur just lost , and for FYI i dont consider myself as having commitemnt issues , in fact i know what i want, and i wouldnt accept anything less , call it commitment issues if u want but at least i do know what i want ;) best of luck in ur " one night stands" till finding some1 worth it or " waiting for k" who is not that into u which turns u on more or waiting till it rains , i guess its pretty obvious now , dont need to explain myself more , still i care about u , i wasnt attaking i was just confronting u with ur problems , which i know u'd do the same for me cuz ur a good firend ... in a way lol
    best of luck

  21. hmmm... echos house warming party was a 'fish party' - that's true, but I hope you don't have a serious problem with that. I mean we're gays but it shouldn't mean that we hate all other sexual orientations, even if someone is that freaky to love the opposite sex, like a hetero ;)

    No, really, I like the variety in every case, it makes the life more colourful. Pure gay parties are sooo annoying and pure hetero party (is there anything like that?) are so boring.

    So we're expecting you to come to round 2 of the fish party. I guess I'll do the same fish salad ;)

    PS: I also believe in star signs :)

  22. It was a fish party in a good way, I've many Lesbian friends that I even wrote a whole post about them! ;)

    P.S: Thank u =D

  23. What i know tha u r great writer, after i read for you i feel that i watched a movie. I like ur way in writting which is full of details.

  24. i think you should write an amazing novel about being gay in egypt, turn it into a bestseller, take the money and tell ur parents to fuck off and go live abroad. plenty plenty of fish

  25. What about turning my blog into a book? It's my dream actually! =)


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