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All the names that are mentioned in my posts are totally fake but they are related in a way to the real person's identity, so you do the maths!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Wrinkle wrinkle bigger scar!

Another year, another post, another reflection, another weirdness feeling when checking old posts and their comments, another mixed feelings of happiness, pride and worrying, will it last? How long will I still be able to push the envelope? Do I get better or worse or standing still? Shall I stop blogging after I got featured on Cleo magazine, appeared on BBC, doing an interview with a German radio station soon and getting blog-ly blocked in KSA?

Anyhow, my Cancerian blog is two years old now and as a tradition; I'm dedicating the post to my readers and their comments!

I totally agree with u sara!

Ice, ice, ice, ego is a bad ally, don't u think that putting ur armor back on will just lock u inside urself even more? I mean after all, whether the shrink is right or wrong he hits ur most tender spots, moves u from ur being ok with the current situation, even if it is painful, to a better one. Therapies are not easy, and they never make u feel better, in fact they r tough and painful and exhausting, but after all, u don't grow a tree by just throwing a seed, u have to break ur back with hard work to finally see just a tiny fragile sprout, and then u work even harder to keep it alive.
I personally would keep on moving forward instead of trying to go backwards to the pre-therapy you.

p.s.Try the car before buying it?!!!
By MariannE_N on "The exorcism of the gay me!"

I really wonder how the shrink and the parents will ever make it for you for all those horrible moments when they made you feel as though something was wrong with you. The shrink should be helping you and your parents come to terms with who you really are and that's it!
By Marwa Rakha on "Self-degaying, self-decaying?"

surprisingly i know IQ personally and know he is not making it up...

Marwa.. i do like your comment but again thats in an idealistic world... though.. when in the real world we have to tip toe across what lies beneath us.. i just cant and help of think of one thing IQ.. fast forward five years from now and how you will remember this time... i believe at this moment reading your latest post i can say hatred towards the family beginning to start... becareful of that as you dont want to start a rift.. remember you are still co-dependent on them .. and not your friends since you dont work .. and you are still a university student...

you know about me... you know i am going through something similiar yet not so similar as you are dealing only with your whole family i am dealing with my brother... where as you are very defensive on them... i am actually starting to open up my mind to other things.. not turning str8 because he does accept that i am gay .. they just want me to live in a celibate life... either way... the beautiful thing with my brother he doesnt expect something to occur from one day... he doesnt expect me to become straight.. he is geniunly concerned of my after life...

now what i am trying to say is you have to admit regardless if we are gay or str8 me and you push the limits sometimes....

how many sex partners we had in the past 4 years ?
how many drunken weeks/weekends have we had in the past year ?
mow much drugs have we consumed ?

maybe when yo go tell your therapist you want to be str8 he wont believe you directly ... so why not tell him you want to be the best version of YOU... tell i want to take baby steps first ... by cutting down on drinking and sex etc... and regardless of your therapist advise or what deep down you do know that cutting down on that its good for us... not only on religious level, but for your body, mind, soul.
By Q on "Self-degaying, self-decaying?"

We should remember that it's difficult to have a dialogue with young guys about insecurities or ambiguity or uncertainty. For example, you can bust open your heart to a young guy and you'll get a cliche response like: "You shouldn't care what people think" or "You have to live for what's important to you" or "You have to be yourself" without understanding that, first, you already understand all that a lot better than they do, and second, part of understanding is an awareness that you can't maintain meaningful work or personal relationships without caring what other people think, and third, that said young guy (and all young guys) himself cares more about what people think than he even realizes yet.

I know my example is painting all young guys with the same heavy brush stroke. The "You shouldn't care what other people think" is just an example. We young folks have a multitude of untested Oprah-style slogans that we are just beginning to explore. I'm probably the poster-boy when it comes to my own mind fuckery, so I'm interested in Q's position and the ensuing discussion.

Mr Q is just another example of the young gay guy testing out what works and doesn't work in his lifestyle. Hopefully, he finds his way.
By Guerrilla Sodomite on "Self-degaying, self-decaying?"

There is one thing to have a religious fetish, and its a totally different thing to resort to distasteful insinuations to increase your readership.
I personally find it pathetic and a very sad excuse for being "controversial".
But then again, ever the attention-seeking queen that you are, you will do anything to get people talking about what you "write", if I can call it "writing" at all.
And what I find absolutely infuriating is that pseudo-serious attitude you take towards established religion.
You are not "taking down" religion, God forbid, to actually critique it or give us some new insight, or even let us question age-old negative attitudes, no, you are being vulgar, disrespectful with half-baked ideas that are very badly written!
If you don't have anything better to say about homoeroticism of same-sex communities or the traditions that Muslims believe in (being negative or positive) than you would do us all a big favor and keep your "intense, sexy Scorpio" mouth shut!!
By E on "Sin-me my Sunni!"

Oh Man you are gifted...with such overly smart way of writing and long does it take you to write such amazing posts?!! La2 the point is it's not just crafty well-written la2 w so professionally funny kaman, and believe me I don't say that so often.. :)

Oh man...that's all I can say right now...donno what's with me, it's like I can't comment's like I khalas can't write anything simple and fathomable...hehe but I liked this post A LOT that I had to write anything...

ROCK ON...and keep us updated.
By Innate_Inanenuss on "Sin-me my Sunni!"

You've got quite a few people going down on you spIce (and not in the good way). I'd say they should press the red X in the corner so they can get off (again, not in the good way), but I believe topics like this can use a little more fight club, get some discussion aroused (one last time, not in the good way).

Scene I. Once I find out that the most attractive man in the world is one of those Amr Khaled sheep I am absolutely turned off, yet you seem to be on the opposite end. It is interesting how you channel your feelings into a sexual energy. You might not support suicide bombers, but you sure like to see those Muslim brothers blow.

Scene II. Also interesting is how you've painted a preternatural battle of powers, your faith in astrology vs the veil of organized religion. You follow your own orthodoxy to joust with others, a yin yang effect almost.

Scene III. On this I actually do have intellectual differences with you on using the word "womanizer", which is usually used as an insult. Not only does it seem quite odd that you would use this term on someone when you yourself actively sexually objectify other individuals, but this is a misnomer to describe one of the most influential figures in human history. I understand it was made in the context of a joke and the endowment of your friend, however I do advocate you to separate the religious aesthetics of this man and study the role he played socially and politically to become so successful on the level of a secular leader, notable atheist and non-Muslim historians in the West have written their appreciation of his accomplishments.

Sounds like you had a lot of fun nevertheless :D

kel sana wento salmeen!
By Guerrilla Sodomite on "Sin-me my Sunni!"

Only sick minds think of a same-sex friendship as something sexual. One word comes to mind reading what you wrote "human devils" or "shayateen al ens". Do you know what does that mean? do you realize that you seem to only view life from a sexual point of view? do you realize that you are luring others to sins as well? do you ever think of the results of what you are doing?how could you even dream of having a stable life even with another same-sex person when you are bed hopping like that?
So, since this is how you feel about the religion you "officially" belong to, i take it you do not play pretend-fasting? I also take it that you are taking steps to make sure you are not listed as Muslim and revealing the sad truth to your parents that you do not care for them, you do not care for your end, you do not care for the money spent to send you to a doctor to help you out.
What is it with many who are in the business of insulting holy religions particularly Islam in our society that in real life they are nothing but cowards. You choose to conceal your reality, you play pretend-Muslim the whole time you have no balls to come out not about your sexual abnormal choices, not about your choice not to believe in Islam (which is fine as long as u realize that your freedom not to worship any does not equal the freedom to insult a prophet or a religion).
Show us you have the balls you keep on bothering us about.
By Anonymous on "Sin-me my Sunni!"

I think it's funny how EVERYONE is critiquing you. If you're offended you're offended. Don't manufacture the context of this post according to your own offended perception. Take the piece for the context in which it was written. I think it says a lot about a person when they can't keep objectivity. E, I'm talking about you. It's unattractive and highly unintelligent for a person to skew their perceptions of context to fuel their anger.
By Anonymous on "Sin-me my Sunni!"

I am trying to understand how you are forced to be homosexual.
How is that different from someone straight who is a sex addict? or someone who likes to be with too many women or men? Dont you think that each one of us was given a temptation (probably a set of them but theres always one that is stronger than the others)? wanting to be rich, wanting to have more money and possessions,women, men, drinking, fame, liking ppls praise, sickness of some kind, lack of kids, difficult kids, etc. Do you believe that all ppl give in? Would you say that most give in?
IQ you mentioned that you found yourself cursed in all religions well, do you think God asks us not to do things just to annoy us? Isnt there a legit reason for the few things we are asked not to do, few in comparison to the millions of things we are allowed to do? I personally understood God as not hating any one, if we are asked not to do something its because in the end its not good for us and us does include me and the overall benefit of the society.
Why picking and caring so much about the ekhwan and monakabat? I believe in the religion but likewise I never liked their preaching and I dnt like how many of their girls misunderstood (in my opinion) the whole purpose and aims of the religion but I dnt get bothered to that extent. For me, you are just like them the extreme, each on the opposite side of it of course.
Finally, for me it feels this is not the same person who wrote the prev post. I dnt know which one is you or how the two of them co-exist (apparently they do). I do hope you find the right path because beyond all this I believe your mind is still asking and wondering and your heart is not at all settled. The most difficult thing is to take a step back and away from where we are and to really think and look for the answers and the answers in this particular issue are not easy at all.
By Anonymous on "There is no such thing as talent, there is pressure?"

As long as you are happy being gay, the rest doesn't matter.
Religion isn't oppression, God regardless of the name is Freedom, so be happy and choose a partner that loves you truly :)
By Anonymous on "There is no such thing as talent, there is pressure?"

This is definitely a post to remember, I mean, every diva in the gay world remembers every bitch who happened to hit her head on the pavement & decide to stand up to the grand diva .. BRING IT OUT BIATCH.. Loved the analogy

Great post, it is sad I didn't catch it en temporum.
By OpeRon on "A post to remember"

lol i gotta give it to you some of the shit you write is really funny and clever. retro-baptism. loves it.
By M on "Your dick before we click! [Republished]"

So here are my thoughts about your post
-Last post got me over my homophobia,but now i think that everyone's Gay!
-anyway you are 20-ish why are you sleeping with a 40 y/o?!
-I'm not judging here,but couldnt you atleast not have sex during Ramadan!
-and i dont understand the last part,you Slept With Three Professors at The AUC?!
-There are 3 Gay professors at AUC *still not judgin,just wondering*:D
By Anonymous on "Your dick before we click! [Republished]"

For some, sex is the appetizer, for others it's just the entire meal, and for the rest of us it's the dessert.

In your case it was the appetizer, now that you're moving on to the main course (dating), it seems you are learning not to spoil your dinner by taking chocolate from an AUC professor, or anyone else.

Enjoy every course of your meal with this guy, and who knows ? You might keep *coming* for seconds.

I'm hungry now.
By Guerrilla Sodomite on "Your dick before we click! [Republished]"

I love how random you are :D
By Dyke In Saudi on "The Princess and the Pea"

hehehehehe So happy for u !

loved what u called urself :D

and in an earlier comment I told u that u r falling right? hehehe it always feels nice to say I told you so !

good luck
By BaTaBeeT on "Not so Icy after all?"

Putting aside who we might think is right or wrong, you're both in the same situation and reacting in the same way. In her eyes, you're wrong and she wants you to change. In your eyes, she's wrong and you want her to change.

I'm sure once you are financially independant enough and able to move out, your relationship with your mum will improve. Until then I suppose it's her house, her rules!? Fair enough in my opinion :)

By Ninja on "Why is it that we see what we want to believe when we don't believe what we see?"

It's like you're talking about my mom.
It's not about being gay, it's a mother thing...of course you being gay magnifies it, but each mother has a part of that in her, with some more extreme than others.
They want what's best for us yet they do not know what's best for us to begin with.
And we're in Egypt after all... your life is never yours in Egypt, at least as long as you're living under the same roof as your parents.
we should get together for a 'mother issues' venting :)
By silent observer on "Why is it that we see what we want to believe when we don't believe what we see?"

It really touched me deeply, the part where your boyfriend sent you the message, its really CUTE and DEPRESSING at the same time, My eyes almost were teary, the whole part of standing in the garden alone also. but glad that things got better when your boyfriend came...and that you are now more organized about your friends, that's better, and a daring thing what you have done (:
Happy new year to you too!
By Anonymous on "The joke was on me?"

Well, I wasn't there, but I was there, guess how !?
I met some random first-time guys that night late after the midnight and they were gossiping about that party when the teenager host got furious and threw it all on their faces and that that was so unexpected and unaccepted (as they claimed), but later after spending some time with them, Man, U had all the right, lol

Keep growing, we all do, just try not to show growth marks ;)
By MSG on "The joke was on me?"

Awww.. that is awesome, I would be surprised if there was a report with the keywords Egypt - Sex - Blog and Gay, and yours wasn't mentioned.

Keep up the good work..x
And stay safe!!
By Ninja on "Fuck me, I'm Famous & Uncensored!"

I just saw you on TV :D!I liked the documentary I may write another detailed comment about my reflection after the program is finished ;)
By بتنفس حريه on "Fuck me, I'm Famous & Uncensored!"

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image."... I'm not sure that that's the beginning of love, more a perfect endpoint that takes years to reach.

Compromise seems to be hard for som people, of course scorpios don't need to think about it, it comes naturally, like everything!

By Anonymous on "Self-stung?"

bon soir!

well.. this post made me laugh / stop and stare / freak out... dont ask me why!

do we really know our flaws? all of them? sure there are some flaws that we dunno about, or things that we do normally yet they annoy others...

"what is idendity" Huuuh !

it's not always rainbows and butterflies...

I'm speachless... then i guess I'll start to Scream then Scream more

do I make sense?
By BaTaBeet on "Self-stung?"

Perhaps friendship is all about finding people with the same boundaries as us. I remember when Samantha met that woman from Texas. They had an initial spark but soon even Samantha's boundaries had been overstepped and she left in disgust! Some of us like people who try to cross boundaries, others are repelled by it. Me personally, I like it a lot. I suppose it comes down to how adventurous you are as a person and what you want to accomplish/see/do/fuck in your life!!!
By Anonymous on "When do we cross-dress the line?"

nice speech dude ..... god bless you
By mostafa mahmoud on "Fuck me, I'm on BBC!"

hehe! first I love the song :D
second, I've been thinking about that a lot, at one point I decided to be kinda a rebel on technology.. but it started to cavin' me in, and I realized I became addicted to not being addicted ..
so Idk, I think it's best to play it cool; as long as you own things and things don't own you..
By 9h on "They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'!"

I would quote the madge...."and if it makes you feel good then I say do it".
If you keep changing what you're addicted to every once in a while, it remains under control, the continuity in doing or consuming the same thing over a long time actually dulls me tbh.
By Adam Mead on "They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'!"


  1. First of all happy anniversary , although I disagree with your posts sometimes , but I never respected you less , and I admire respect look up to you all the time , though you are younger than me , but people like you ,who are able to express themselves the way you do , are very few and you have my utmost respect and my best wishes for everything in your life,

  2. Hey!! I thought u stopped following my blog lol since I didn't read recent comments by you, thank 4 ur lovely comment =))
    Missed u!


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