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All the names that are mentioned in my posts are totally fake but they are related in a way to the real person's identity, so you do the maths!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wrinkle wrinkle little scar!

Yesterday 7th of July was the first anniversary of my blog, it felt so weird but in a good way, I read my previous and felt that it was someone else who wrote them, I never thought that my blog would last that long(45 posts of 11,061 total page views & 6,834 total visits!), I've never ever thought that one day I'd write anything but my blogging experience always surprised!
So I decided not to write about my life for a change and dedicate this post for my readers, those who always left comments on my different posts, who made me think, laugh, blush, doubt, wake up & change.
The comments will be posted on two posts because they are too many(it was hard to pick only these comments from all the amount of comments)!

i love the way you show no mercy
an inspiration to everyone out there!!
By Convict on "What the fuck has Jesus to do with it?!"
I love the words
This one of the best. Especially when u burried the words inside him, Thank god u burried it there, and hope its just gone there
By Anonymous on "The worst hangover ever: The Bonus sex!"
I definitely understand the lower-middle class attraction. There's something about a grimy place in a god forsaken area that's an instant aphrodisiac haha.
By Anonymous on "Social class gap: Double dating!"
I think we already established that the argument of taxonomy of sexual pathologies is outdated. By at least a hundred years. So while some people here might think they are keeping up, they are using a Western moral discourse, that even the Wes abondened.
How original is that?
Can't you come up with your own "terms" or definitions? Why use scientific Latin to speak about "our morality"?
Assuming we are a Muslim, Middle Eastern, Arabic society?
And you know whats funny?
Discussing desire is not new to this society.
You know what I would like to see?
If one person, one person who writes one of these bigoted comments was educated at all.
But alas! Everyone who reads this blog, and wants to stand for the moral, upright nature of this society is grossly misinformed.
Read your own history darling, then come discuss desire and sexuality.
Instead of borrowing hackneyed, overused, obsolete moral discourses.
Which is I think is hysterically funny!
Now, how about you go fuck yourself, which I don't think you know how, because you are, surprise surprise, shy!
By E on "Pansexuality should be the Future's label!"
Give the comment above an award. It's like they forgot the sex-mad poets we had in the Middle Ages... When it was shameful to show an ankle in the west.
By Anonymous on "Pansexuality should be the Future's label!"
this touched me in a way i can not explain .
xoxo
By S. on "Ice queer? Ah OUI!"
ok.. i've just came accross ur blog, only cause u replied to a post on scene and heard that i left...
if i had ever met you we would be great friends (sorry, no testise in this premises-only vaginal instruments, that havent been working for quiet sometime)
ur thoughts are liberating, entertaining and touching...
be who u r... learn from ur mistakes... and always be true to urself...
bravo begad...
a potential fan...

SMF
By Anonymous on "Ice queer? Ah OUI!"
Awesome! I could taste the mixture of drinks, hash and lust as I went through your short entry.
Can't wait for the rest!
By Lou on "Would you pretend we're only friends if I kissed you?"
Well I think age has nothing to do with it. And no, it might not be that great dating someone who's just you in everyway, ofcourse you have to be ''on the same level'' but he doesn't have to be that similar to you, you know? Because you'd still feel something is missing and all would turn to be too boring after a while.

Undefined relations are the most complicated. Be careful not to get so carried away with your feelings. Enjoy your time. Don't hurt yourself and have things always under control.

Peace.
By Gia on "The truce hurts!"
Mr.Right Now.
Enjoy it until it lasts.
It will end. Everything does.
Squeeze its juice, and enjoy the drunken lusts for no matter how long it comes.
By ... and then God created Men! on "The truce hurts!"
My friend, and I am calling you friend because for some weird reason I can relate to most of your posts. I just wish I can explore more sides in you than your dating/sex life. and I am sure you have more things to offer.
Everyone is unique in some way or another, so yeah, you are different in your own way and hopefully oneday I will get to have a real life conversation with you
By cairodude on "The truce hurts!"
Now this is a VERY interesting topic to read, especially those first lines.
Being a good writer, why don't you elaborate more about the reasons of what you felt, rather than telling us what those feelings where.
Everyone in your place would feel humiliated and broken, but why ? everyone has his own reasons, and you, have different reasons. Explain them.

P.S: It's not that easy in developed countries to sue people, it's not like what you see in theaters, and believe me this ain't the problem, any man would react differently, if he was here in Egypt, or even in Switzerland.
By Anonymous on "Steaming out!"
I'm highly against medications, i've been on them for too long and i hated every minute of it, somehow i prefer to live with my "madness" and i am ready to die because of it rather than to be dulled out by medications, they slowly killed me inside. Some shrinks do prescribe drugs to cure homosexuality by the way, they kill your sex drive to ensure your abstinence.For a therapy to work though, you need a full collaboration between you and your doctor, so don't listen to opinions, pace yourself according to your feelings and needs,get all the information you need about what you both will do and how will it affect your life and make conscious choices. This day is all that is promised to you, live it right.
Good luck.
By Anonymous on "Officially OUT!"
This post made me smile, do u really think that a doctor that experienced (or anyone as a a matter of fact) would really buy that you met only two gay guys, just for a coffee and that you wonder if there are guys feeling the same and that the only thing he would doubt of would be if u kissed a guy on the lips?!!!
I agree with S, it's useless to lie, it will just make the process longer, i believe u have to choose your way, u either stand for your position or you get back in the closet as that guy with the weird name told u (the one in the previous post) (which entails lying, of course).
There is one last possibility though, but i believe it won't be received popularly in this blog; did u ever think to actually try that therapy? I mean you sound like you reached a good point of acceptance of your sexuality, so i don't think talks and mind games would actually push you back to the place where you hate yourself for liking men, i mean what do u have to lose? if it works you will have known that you had unresolved problems, if it doesn't, you can honestly tell your parents "i tried and it didn't work out" and you can all move on together, in any case, you would have actually made a journey of self discovery with yourself, you'd have stripped off all of the masks/roles you ever wore/played, even with your own self and found out the true you. As S said, this is a good chance (S we agree so much, we should date!), not because of the talking, but because you are in a place were you can question everything you think and everything you think you believe/feel, (even your own moral code, your darkest deeds/secret desires that you never shared, not even with your best friend) and watch it from an external point of view, once it is out there, abstract, it becomes a matter of discussion between you and your doctor.
My biggest advice if u chose this last option is to refrain from judging, opposing and refusing anything the doctor says, just absorb it and weigh it. I was a fighter with my psychiatric i'd attack and defend and only recently i realized that i was afraid, afraid that he might be right, that he might say something that would make me realize i wasn't really gay, I was afraid of that because it had taken me too long to accept my sexuality as a nature and not as a choice, that if i had found out that that wasn't true i'd have no excuse for my "immoral" actions, only now i realize that back then, even if i dated, had sex and thought i was happy being gay, in fact i still considered it deep in my subconscious as something terribly wrong.
Face yourself nordine, it's scary, but it frees you ; "...and the truth will set you free"
By Z(aka XY) on "Therapy session #1"

Should I break the news and tell you that he is playing with you or you have already sensed it? Starting from his disappearance two years ago and then claiming that he vaguely remembered you and bieng suprised you still remember his no and all that bla bla bla.

I would say that most of the infos he gave you about himself is not correct either.

And by the way he only insisted once to meet you when he already felt that you wouldn't be able to make it. Corny trick.

If you realize it but you are still keen to pursue it, fine, but if you have the illusion that there is some "miscommunication" somewhere then you just need a reality slap!

Suribal
By Suribal on "The number you've dialled is not in service, ANYMORE!"
I enjoyed reading ur story, I guess ill call u whenever I need to make some1 change his number.
Anyway, he sounds kind of familiar, does his name start with M.N.?
save ur time and look for NORMAL guys
loved ur story ;)
By Spectacular on "The number you've dialled is not in service, ANYMORE!"
when i had those days struggling with myself ..i met a guy i wasn`t so young , i was almost 22 .. he was the first guy i`ve ever met in my life .. i felt guilty for only seein him and i met him another time , i made some excuses to end it up(tho it didn`t start even).
i told him i`ll change bla bla bla
he told me that his friends tried with well known and famous psychaetrists and it never worked which means ,forget it .. anyway years passed and once i chatted with the owner of this blog , nordine and i felt sorry cos i met queeny like guy (at a friend`s place) and felt sorry i`m gay .. nordine told me in words ( i thought u passed this period of ur life) he meant i`m old now and i`m supposed to be over such thoughts and i`m supposed to know what i really want now .. i thought he passed the same period too ..
but my question for u nordine if it happens to read this ., do u want to be str8 ? expecting it to work after all those experiences , ur life with guys was long phone calls and with girls was only missed calls.
anyway what i know about physical dependance in homosexuality cases makes me believe it is hard to stop the feeling .. may be u can stop the action but the feeling will be always in u .. and oneday u may explode or live ur life frustrated cos u fear god (maybe in some cases) or ur family society etc .. finally ur life will pass and u lose .. so the earlier u know what u want the more happiness u can get ..
wish u good luck with ur experience at a shrink`s
By Anonymous on "And the therapy continues....Coming Clean!"


I like your blog it is very frank I think that in itself is therapy I am glad you do not think there is something wrong with you do not let anyone tell you other wise :)
By Paul on "And the therapy continues....Coming Clean!"
Loool @ love to revenge
I've been fwded this on FB. I hate to fill these things up
U forgot to mention ur Samira Said performance :)
I've just discovered that I could a feed for this blog to my RSS app on my iPhone. Bathroom time never been more fun :P I read all ur posts.
One last thing. By all means, u r ICE QUEEN
By Spectacular on "25 things about me!"
I'll just point out a few sentences I particularly liked :
I always wondered why these girls are taking all college-related stuff too serious?!

"they are not that smart, they are just a walking parrot "

"guys everywhere who look like LAMEr Hosny"

Now don't You feel you sound a bit :
"aggressive, criticizing everything and judging all people"

and that you are not letting others:
"live your life any way you like"

Ice queer, you might think this is to attack you but in fact it isn't, could easily spot those sentences because i used to (and still do at times) do exactly the same, in my quest of claiming my freedom of choice and difference I let my ego take over and i became the know it all laughing at all the idiocy i see around.

Balance, my friend, balance, their being wrong won't make you more right by the least bit.
By Blog Reader on "Life theater!"

I loved this post,you didn't filter your thoughts so this is what made it interesting.
Anyways, I am gonna say this, just think if you were reincarnated as someone else, a suburbs person for instance, you would have been listening to Tamer, if you were reincarnated as this veiled girl, you would have done the same thing, I think human beings are a product of factors, it's not really their choice in the very first place to be who they are..
Have a great day.
By Anonymous on "Life theater!"
Being a friend with an ex means what? Really considering him a close friend and you go out together, meet regularly and confide to each other? or it means keeping a reasonable friendly level of communication after breaking up?

The first is rather difficult IMO but it isn't impossible, while the second is very possible in my experience (as long as the break up was not a bloody one!)
I even believe that being a friend with an ex is the best sign that our feelings got totally neutralized towards him/her. If we can not look in the face of an ex and talk to him/her without feeling a grain of love or hate, it is then I know it is really over.
By blackcairorose on "What the Fuck @#*^%$^?!!!"
Nice to see a guy not ashamed to talk about his feelings seriously usually guys are so stuck up about this. U r a refreshing change :)
By Sou on "Beauty and the Priest!"

2 comments:

  1. Dear IQ:

    Been waiting for this post all night :))

    First Happy Anniversary :))I don't know how it feels like as i highly doubt mine will last for a year , hoping that we will be celebrating your 10th anniversary some day !

    The comment you posted signed by Z aka XY is not mine some other anonymous comments are but not that one.

    Happy Anniversary again!
    ***

    ReplyDelete
  2. 10th anniversary? Wow u r very optimistic! =D

    Oh really? I thought it was u thu I doubted it when Z said that he matches with S, totally not u XY! =P

    ReplyDelete

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